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Letter from Palestine - On the Right Side of the Wall

ramallah blues | 07.04.2006 06:00 | Anti-racism | Repression | Social Struggles

Letter from a Palestinian activist from Jerusalem after they shut the gates in the Apartheid Wall near her home

Subject: On the Right Side of the Wall
Sent: Thu 4/6/2006 1:02 PM

Dear friends;

I have no words to explain the situation we are facing starting last night. AlRam, Bir Nabala, Aldahiya and other niegborhoods (where I live) are totally blocked. They actually closed the gates in the Wall. Although we knew it was coming. Still, the scenary is overwhelming, and the idea that they actually done so in the midst of scholastic year is beyond comprehension. There is no exit for us now axcept to go all the way to Ramallah through driving of about 30Km in the mountains, and stand at a cue for long time at Qalandya Terminal (new fancy name for Qalandya checkpoint). This morning, I had to send Rani (my 6 years old son) to school by taxi that waited for him on the other side of the checkpoint. He had to actually cross the checkpoint walking, in the rain by himself. It was a devastating experience for a child waiving good bye to me and feeling so insecured surrounded by soldiers. I watched with tears on my face. The soldiers were looking at him, and I could tell they were embarrased.

This morning, feeling so frustrated being imprisoned for no reason, the sense of humiliation of a collective punishment, the feelign of helplessness, I walked to the checkpoint to just speak to the soldiers. Just to have some dialogue with them. I did not intend to exist, thus I did not try to 'gain' their mercy to let me out. I just needed to talk. Just wanted to understand how they implement a strategy that does not make sense even to them. There are hundereds of children who must go to schools on the other side every single morning. There are workers, families, hospitals etc... communities were more than 80thousands people live are totally blocked. They all woke up one morning to be told: "I am sorry you can not exit".

While my heart was crying over the situation of Palestinians, I felt so devestated listening to the frustration of the soldiers. They were so glad someone is there to listen to them in their own language. Not having to find broken words of English and Arabic, and some vocabulary to just explain to people what is going on... Hundreds of people were gethernign there to negotiate with them to let them out. Listening to one story after another, for a whole day, must be difficult. Having to actually execute orders which they have received from 'above', (as they told me) from someone who has probably never been here, must be frustrating. The orders of course did not take in consideration that it is not only about punishing the Palestinians for no reason, but it is also about young soldiers who will have to cope with actual human suffering, dilemmas, moral conflicts, when facing children and the workers every moment. It is such an absurd situation, the suffering on both sides, for simply POLITICAL power struggles.

One soldier informed me that the whole area will be closed within days...He said; "do you think I enjoy what I am doing"??? "Do you think I do not have better things to do in life other than excuting the orders of Olmert"??? , and he added: "you don't get it !!! It is Olmert's policy: from now on, the Palestinians will have to speak to the Wall"... and he continues: "What are you doing here anyway??? Why don't you move to the right side of the Wall"!

The tiny tiny consolation is probably that the soldiers are embarassed at what they are being made to do; but still that is nothing compared to the humiliation and repression of basic human rights.

What a heartbreaking world we live in where we can't find room for two peoples to live in peace. My heart aches, especially as my Jewish friends are on the eve of celebrating their own ancient story of freedom from slavery The Pessah Holiday. I am invited this week to so many dinners on tables of my Israeli Jewish friends . I suppose that my joy will have to be postponed this year, knowing that the freedom of one nation is coming at the expense of my own...

On the personal level, we are not sure how to proceed as a family... We do have many practical options, but, human life is not only about being practical. Our warm flat, the spirit in the house, the memories where we united with family and frieds from different races and nationalities is giving me a sense of lose already. Now I can understand what refuging is like. Being forced to leave is painful, even if we have solutions. Not to mention the financial aspects.

It seems that we will have to look for another place on the 'right side' of the Wall... Where???

I have not answers yet, but we are working on it..

I am sorry I appear so overwhelmed and confused. I think I actually am !

Please find the time to come visit... You will see actually what the Final Status Solution is all about !

With best wishes
Samar Baidoun

ramallah blues

Comments

Display the following 3 comments

  1. Let me explain — So sorry you're confused
  2. best wishes Samar — Danny
  3. this is not a price — ana