The rules are simple, just read through the following and award youself points for actions carried out during the dreary trek from a to z, the winner will be awarded crusty of the year status, a free can of special brew and a pass guaranteeing them the right to never attend one of these pointless affairs again.

1) Award youself 5 points for taking along a dog
10 points for taking a dog on a piece of string
25 points for having no lead whatsoever and throwing a can of beer at the head of anyone who makes a comment, replying with the retort 'faark orf you wanker'
(bonus points are available if your dog bites anyone (10 points for a cop, 20
for a Socialist Worker Vendor), gets in a fight with another dog (10 points, or 15 if it wins) or shits in the middle of Park Lane (10 points)

2) 2 points awarded for every Socialist Worker vendor you tell to fuck off
5 points for punching them
25 points for picking them up and hurling them at the nearest cop

3) 2 points for every can of lager/cider consumed (standard strength, stella, becks etc)
5 points for every can of 'premium' strength beverage eg special brew, tenants, white lighening
25 points for waking up in Charing Cross police station with only a vague recollection of how you got there

4) 10 points for turning up late late and heading straight for the boozer
(10 bonus points for getting thrown out of said boozer)

5) 25 points for turning up with a soundsystem (add a further 50 points per kilowatt of power it pumps out)

6) 5 points for necking a pill, 10 for snorting speed openly on Piccadilly, 50 available for falling into a k-hole in Leicester Square with piss stains on yer keks

7) Stage invasions, heckling, special rules
5 points for shouting 'it's all bollocks' during Tony Benn's speech
10 points for shouting 'fuck off you wanker' whenever Galloway makes an appearance
(warning you lose 50 points for every speech you listen to!)
250 points for invading the stage when Guy Taylor speaks, bundling him into a van and dumping his limp, lifeless body into the Thames

8) Trophy hunting
10 points for a police helmet
20 points for a police radio
250 points for the scalp of any signed up member of the Respect party

9) Police Baiting
5 points for every photograph taken of a FIT team photographer
10 points for causing a minor bit of pointless argy bargy with the old bill
25 points for being sternly admonished by a middle aged, middle class peace protester
50 points for punching said middle aged, middle class peace protester
25 points for tripping up a cop
30 points for tripping up an STWC steward
50 points for 'giving the Stop the War coalition a bad name' (extra points awarded for any anti-social behaviour which takes places in front of a camera crew)

10) Influencing the Youth
5 points for introducing any STWC young members (under 21) to narcotics
10 points for buying alcohol for any underage teenagers on the march
50 points for stealing their virginity, moving them into your squat, influencing them to develop a drug problem, live in a truck, drop out of college etc

bonus points available for...

inciting a riot 500 points
getting nicked 50 points
nearly getting nicked but then blaming it on the nearest fresh faced SWP muppet and getting them nicked 100 points
staying at home and ignoring the whole sorry affair 2000 points

Let's make this one fun...

(bonus points available to imc readers who correctly guess how long this stays on the newswire, before it gets ditched in the hidden posts with the along with the nutters and the fash)