The TV screen clears.

A band plays Hail to the Chief Disturber of the Peace of the World

The President of the United States of Moronica,
George W Gitthenextwaronmaybe speaks:

Mah fellow Moronicans, we heve all bin sinful, wastin' the gud things
thet Gud hes given us laik oil. I heve ter thank Dick Cheney fer
bringin' thet ter mah mind. Dick sez thet Moronicans must stup usin' so
much gas 'coz it's jest encouragin' folks in places ware they heve
towels on thare heads ter git real uppity. Dick sez thet ain't whut
Gud
wunts an' sure enuff, when I went ter bed last night a voice came ter
me
sayin' "I wunt yer ter lead the chosen Moronican people ter the new
promised land of nut hevin' ter rely on folks whut don't believe in
the
raight Gud."

If thet wuz whut Gud wants me ter do I heve ter do it, but I wuz real
worried thet if the oil companies couldn't sell a load of gaz they
maight git real mad and stup bein' mah friends. Dick said nut ter worry
'bout thet 'coz the only way ter git folks ter cut down on gas bein'
used would be ter git prices raight up an' thet would mean the oil
folks would make even more money then they do now sellin' much less.
I
said couldn't figure out how thet would happen without puttin' a real
powerful tax on gas. Dick said I wusn't worry 'bout thet 'coz the oil
folks hed thare own ways of keepin' prices high. I asked how they did
thet. Dick said it were real technical an' thare weren't no need fer
me
ter know the details 'coz I am a "Big Picture Man". I still wuzn't sure
but I could see Dick wuz gittin' mad so I jest nodded an' said "Sure,
Dick, sure".

Things are goin' real well in I-raq. They heve hed a heap of elections
an'
I-raq is now a democracy. Hell, they even heve a constitution jest laik
the good ol' US of M. Some evil sayin' folks are tryin' ter make out
thet jest 'coz bombs are goin' off every day an' Moronican soldiers
are
gittin' killed an' maimed all thur taime I-raq ain't a democracy an'
things ain't better than they ware when Sodamn Insane wuz president.
The
Wushinton' Post hed a cartoon the other day which showed Don Rumsfeld
sayin' ter a Moronican soldier without arms and legs "I'm listin' yer
condition as battle hardened". Don sez thets real close ter treason an'
thare ort ter be a law stoppin' newspapers an' TV stations frum
underminin' the great Moronican people with sech disrespectful stuff.
Dick looked real interested an' said thet wuz raight an' we ort ter
look
into it raight away, so now we've git a whole legal team on the job.

Thare's another place beginnin' with a 'I' which is causin' a heap
of
trouble - I-ran. Condi Rice hez bin doin' everything a gal can ter stup
folks thare makin' a nuclear bomb. Condi sez its jest too dangerous
ter
have a country with a president sayin' he wunts ter be invading
countries and destroyin' governments ter heve the bomb. Some folks
here
heve bin sayin' why cain't they heve the bomb when we heve. Well, some
people are real stupid if they cain't see the difference between
Moronica and I-ran. Anyways, Don Rumsfeld is sure we ort ter be
prepared
ter nuke I-ran jest in case.

Don sez we need ter heve some small nuclear bombs ter jest take out
whut
we really need ter take out, but Congress won't vote the dollars fer
it.
Dick said it wuz unMoronican an' somethin' should be done ter stup
such
unpatriotic ways amongst those elected ter look after the interests of
Moronica. Don said perhaps it maight be best if senators an'
congressmen
were jest appointed by the president. Dick said thet wuz raight but
maight be jest too difficult ter do jest now. Everywun looked real
down until Dick said at least we wull heve a real patriotic Supreme
Court soon when Sam Aito gits on it. Thet''ll tie things up fer twenty
years at least, said Don. Everyone laughed real loud at thet.

Condi tells me thare's another country somewares around I-raq and I-ran
way ware we heve bin bringin' peace and democracy. I think it's named
Afghanistansistan...er.. or somethin' laik thet. Condi sez we went in
ter help folks thare some years back and' now the place is jest fine.
So fine, thet most of our troops is comin' out ter be replaced by some
frum our friends sech as England.

Anyways, the movin' words heve stopped so I giss I don't need ter say
nothin' more 'cept heve a nice day an' make sure yer keep thinkin'
the
true Moronican way!


Band plays The Rights mangled Banner.
-
Robert Henderson
Blair Scandal website:  http://www.geocities.com/ blairscandal/
Personal website:  http://www.anywhere.demon.co.uk