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. | 26.01.2006 11:51 | Anti-militarism | Globalisation | World

Deep in a bunker beneath the White House, President-in-waiting Condozleeza Rice, discusses Iran and forthcoming military tactics with George Bush Junior. Then the fateful news comes in...

Bush: Oh no! Jumping jehosi-fats, jimminy cricket the deals off.

Rice: What's wrong Mr President?

Bush: Those darn peacenik, hippie Stop the War varmints over in limey land, they've only gone and produced a leaflet. It's telling us NOT TO ATTACK IRAN!!!

[A collective shiver runs down the presidential spines]

Rice: Oh no. What are we going do to sir?

Bush: No other choice Connie. Gotta to stand down them missiles. Darn, I don't know how those guys do it. Two years of being worn down with calls to pull our troops out of Iraq...and we beat the blighters. We showed em, those darn tea-drinking, beer-swilling, Queen-worshipping Brits weren't gonna tell us what to do. We showed 'em who's boss. But now this; three little words and our fiendish plot is brought down in one fell swoop...aggghhh! [Bush buries his head in his hands]

Rice: Don't worry sir, I'll stand down our plans. Damn. Our dastardly plot felled in one swoop. Foiled again. Wish we had the guy who thought up THAT plan of attack on our side -they should give that guy a medal.