This is the revelation in the latest edition of The Porkbolter, an independent local newsletter for Worthing in West Sussex.
Here's the story:

Wealthy Worthing? Ha! Ha! Ha!

A LOT of lies about the reality of life in Worthing are regularly thrown in our faces by the powers that be and their spin doctors. Like the strange notion that Worthing councillors give a pork what the people of this town actually think or want. Or the sad fantasy that Sussex Police recruit only fine, public spirited individuals dedicated to protecting ordinary citizens from harm and helping little old ladies across the road.

But the biggest lie of all must be the oft-repeated myth that Worthing has been found to be "the most prosperous town in Britain". This nasty globule of undigested falsity has been coughed up again by the Winter 2005 edition of 'Your Worthing', a zero-interest publication that seems to have been published by the Worthing Town Centre Initiative.

You don't need a brain the size of the Victor Gladwish Stadium to work out that the claim obviously isn't true and we will explain later exactly why that is so. But even without the facts, a brief moment's thought reveals the idea of Worthing being anything like the most prosperous town in Britain to be totally absurd.

Look at our neighbouring towns. Is Worthing really more prosperous than Brighton, to the east, with its migrating London wine bar set, trendy media poseurs and seafront millionaires? More prosperous than Horsham, to the north, with its well-heeled commuter belt population or Chichester, to the west, with its green welly and Barbour jacket brigade? And that's just Sussex, let alone the rest of the country.

If Worthing is such a prosperous town, how come, when the national average salary is about £22,000 a year, the Worthing Herald jobs pages are full of adverts for work at £5.65 an hour, £5.75 an hour, £11,780 a year, £13,400 a year, £5.35 an hour... look for yourself!

If Worthing is so prosperous, how come thousands of people have to commute miles to work and back every day to earn a wage that will pay their mortgage or rent? How come young people can't afford their own home, even a tiny flat? How come Worthing people are knackering themselves with overtime just to make ends meet, or can't get any work at all, or are clearing out the toilets at old people's homes for a minimum wage to pay for the kids' school uniform or the ever spiralling council tax? What kind of prosperous town is that?

Of course, the whole prosperous thing is just not true. And the reality is pretty much the exact opposite. In fact, the survey misquoted by 'Your Worthing' found our town to be the most profitable in the country - profitable for companies, that is, with the average profit margin recorded at 22.29 per cent in 2001.

Other official statistics back this up. For instance, the Annual Survey of Hours and Earnings 2004 found that Worthing residents' average pre-tax pay is only £413 a week, compared to £442 for West Sussex as a whole and £474 for the whole South East - and that includes residents who have to commute out of town for a half decent wage.

What this means for the people of Worthing, can be gauged by the company we were keeping in the 'profitability league', which now seems to have been abandoned. Second place in 2001 went to Brecon in South Wales - hardly an area known for its wealth - and Gateshead, infamous for unemployment, finished 9th. Experian, the firm behind the survey, acknowledged that "some towns can be highly profitable while still suffering high unemployment and social deprivation". And Tim Preston, head of economic development at Worthing Borough Council, was quoted as saying: "The results mask some of the problems in Worthing's economy, notably low wages compared to other areas of the South East and problems of deprivation in some parts of the town."

County planning officer John Kilford spelled it out more plainly still at a meeting in Worthing's Richmond Room in July 2000 (see issue 30), explaining: "What is particularly significant is that wages are low and the take home pay of part-time and full-time workers compares with the lowest in the country." So in fact, it's the low wages here that make companies so porkin' profitable - prosperity for the businessmen and poverty for the rest of us!

PS: We're looking forward to the factual correction in the next issue of 'Your Worthing'!

Poor pickings

IT'S nice to know that Worthing MP Tim Loughton isn't suffering from the low wage crisis in his constituency. The Tory politician earns £57,485 as his standard backbench salary and, latest figures reveal, topped this up with £124,857 worth of expenses in 2004/2005, making a grand total for the year of £182,342. The maximum that can be claimed for overnight stays away from home is £20,902 and our Tim, who lives an hour's train ride from the House of Commons in Burgess Hill, claimed... exactly £20,902! That's about £60 a night, 365 nights a year. What the pork has he been up to?
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THE Teville Gate development plans feature 250 homes, including "up to 40 new affordable key worker homes" (Worthing Herald, October 27). So that's at least 210 unaffordable homes, then. Just what we need.
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SCROOGE bosses are moaning about having to cough up a few more pence for their lowest paid slaves (Ooops, sorry. Staff). Reported The Worthing Herald (October 6): "The Federation of Private Business chief executive Nick Goulding has slammed the increase in the national minimum wage. He said he is gravely concerned that the rise in the national minimum rate for adults from £4.85 to £5.05 per hour will cause businesses real pain".
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WE WERE delighted to hear earlier this year that thanks to campaigners' efforts Worthing has become a Fairtrade Town. Wouldn't it be great if it could also now become a Fairwage Town?