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Tony Blair beheaded by Al-Qaeda female suicide bomber in Brighton (Humour)

gaz | 01.10.2005 16:43 | Analysis | South Coast

What they didn't tell you happened in Brighton. From now on, only you will know. (Humour)

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1) Cherie Blair in company of the embalmed mummy of her late husband shows a CCTV picture of the attacker at a police conference.

2) Cherie Blair shows an artifact used by the attacker to lull the poorly trained volunteers dealing with Tony Blair's security at the conference into believing she was an innocent pregnant woman from the popular classes wanting an autograph from the Prime Minister for her soon to be born child.

3) The bomb detonated only seconds after the attacker took off her T-Shirt explains Cherie.

4) An amazing pic showing Tony Blair only a few miliseconds before his head got pulverised by a deadly schrapnell while the blood of the attacker has already covered the CCTV camera's lens.

5) Some innocent bystanders who escaped the blast alive but were closed enough to get covered with the blood of the victim do not believe in the suicide attack line told by the police and Cherie.

6) Some even believe the Mossad did it.

7) Witnesses saw Cherie repeatedly kissing and hugging with the irresistible Israeli playboy Shimon Peres each time Tony looked elsewhere. Many suspect foul play and there are strong rumours they got rid of Tony.

8) Cherie, a renowned and high profile barrister, seems to totally loose all control of herself and regress in a childhood like state after kissing with Shimon. For example she pretends to drive a car just like a kid of seven would, as can be seen on this pic taken by a hidden CCTV camera. Analysts reckon she is badly hooked by Shimon.

9) Close Up : Some want to see in Tony's very determined attitude seconds before dying the evidence he caught Cherie and Shimon kissing on CCTV and was just about to have a public explanation with them as to what they were exactly up to in his back. Poor Tony, he never got the oppportunity.

10) Flashback : Cherie and Shimon in Tony's back.

11) Chancellor Gordon says a funeral mass for his late rival. He'll be the new Party boss.

12) Wait a minute. Gordon is not sexy enough. So they'll be using a clone of Tony they grew in Tel-Aviv and Area 51 and that they can remote control. He is more agressive even than the real one. Business as usual will carry on. Sieg Heil.

13) More serious security personel has now been deployed by Ian Blair to secure the area. They have received order to shoot to kill in the head without warning any pregnant woman, just in case, to be on the safe side, to be sure not to make a mistake and risk that plenty of innocent civilians are killed by the Al-Qaeda terrorists from Iraq.

At least you've been in Brighton and seen a bit of what really goes on in there. I hope you've enjoyed watching this carnival of fucks. All you had seen so far is politicians apologizing to a holocaust survivor as usual.

But what if it was all only an hologram ?

gaz