Skip to content or view screen version

If You Can’t Find A Canvas Use A 4x4

Rene Thomas | 21.09.2005 22:31 | Ecology | Technology | Sheffield

My trip to a 4x4 dealer's to put gas-guzzlers out of action, and leave a statement of solidarity with the planet and against petrol-wastage.

Last night, inspired by Greenpeace’s big parking ticket campaign for 4x4 gas-guzzlers, I decided to put some of these monsters out of action at source, in this case the Toyota showroom on Leeds Road, Huddersfield.
Armed only with 2 tins of spraypaint and a pointed rock I did £2,400 worth of damage to 4 4x4 beasts in the forecourt (3 Rav4s and 1 Land Cruiser), spraying and scratching slogans like “4x4 More Oil More War”, “Petrol is costing the Earth” and the simple, unauthorised “GREENPEACE”, in addition to putting a few dents in them.
Since my last visit to the Leeds Road dealership arcade in July, security had been brought in, and as I made a casual getaway I was apprehended by police in 5 squad cars, who were very nice throughout my arrest and overnight detention, remarking “It’s not your job to put the world to rights.” I wish it wasn’t, because I am most amateurish, attempting to disable the CCTV after I had tackled the 4x4s, during which I had forgotten to pull my bandanna up over my nose. But whose job is it, then? Theirs?
Actually I did think they were well cheeky to go and search my home while I was in the cells, before I'd even been charged. Apparently this is permitted under a Section 18, which covers anyone arrested? They said they were looking for more spraypaint, or for Greenpeace literature, and they didn't find any. I reckon they couldn't find the house.
To apply further hindsight to self-criticise my direct action:
I was on my own, I only had black spraypaint, which is ineffective against black vehicles, my slogans were a bit boring and obvious, I went over the top in being disarmingly honest in custody, owning up to a much bigger eco-terrorist spree earlier in the year, I should have started off at my main target - the Land Rover dealership which I never reached (Land Rover Discoveries do as little as 12 miles to the gallon in urban use whereas Toyota’s gas guzzlers are a bit less greedy), I should have taken photographs, I hadn’t considered who I would appoint as solicitor, I hadn’t checked with Greenpeace if I could use their name in my stunt, I hadn’t done enough planning to ensure my act of civil disobedience would reach a broader audience.
On the positive side I only attacked vehicles still belonging to their producer rather than to private individuals (not that I would condemn this outright), I thoroughly charmed the police, I hadn’t been drinking or on drugs or used smutty language, and I proper cleaned up in the interview room.
But mainly I did it, and it was fun.
I am bailed with a 9pm curfew and a clause not to enter any garage forecourts until my trial for criminal damage on Wednesday morning, 28th September at Huddersfield magistrate's court. Come along if you fancy a laugh.

Rene Thomas
- e-mail: weallpoo@yahoo.co.uk

Additions

My Trial Is Underway... and unbelievably weird

28.09.2005 23:31

I was much upstaged at court, acting the part of straight-man while the prosecution and defence lawyers stole the limelight and got all the gags.

The prosecution woman was incapable of completing a sentence without adding more stumbles than words, though if it was meant to be a stammer, it was unconvincing. It looked more like she just hadn't done her homework, or was filling in for a sick colleague. She didn't even mention that I had owned up to a much larger instance of similar vandalism earlier in the year while in police custody, and had nothing to say regarding whether my action was serious, inconvenient, malevolent, or worthy of punishment.

Luckily, my defence lawyer, the Greenpeace-supporting duty solicitor appointed me at the copshop, was on hand to do her job for her in addition to his. While he did well to make a brief resume of my ethical reasons, and to point out that I was unrepentant and had deliberately targeted vehicles which were not the property of private individuals, I think he got a bit carried away when he said things like:

"He was inspired by Greenpeace, though I very much doubt whether that organisation would support his action, in fact I know offhand that they wouldn't..."

"He seems to have a conscience, at least in terms of the environment"

"He is bipolar, as well as being manic depressive... his mental state was clearly not in question, as he said it wasn't in the police interview... although he may not have been well at the time, he was clearly capable of knowing what he was doing... his mental state cannot be included in his defence"

"He knew that what he was doing was against the law, and it was clearly wrong"

"I am at odds as to what sentence to recommend"

It all baffled me a bit, and I think it baffled the magistrates too, whose _expression towards me seemed to soften the more he spoke.

Somehow, it has emerged that I wion't receive a custodial sentence, community service is looking to be the most severe punishment likely to be imposed, but the magistrates seemed keen on me being sent on an ETS (Enhanced Thinking Skills) course - I think both my solicitor and the Crown Prosecution Service brief should attend with me. The course is aimed at teaching people to think before they act, so since I'll probably be attending along with other sub-minor-league criminals, it might add up to lessons in how to get away with things. Removing my tongue from cheek, it does sound beneficial to a bipolar who is also manic-depressive. Whoop, it's back in my cheek!

One thing my solicitor did earn his legal aid payment for was getting my curfew time moved back from 9pm to 11pm until my next appearance in court (morning of 24.10.05), by which time I will have seen the probation officer to see if she thinks the ETS course would help my rehabilitation.

No cops bothered to turn up to give evidence, and their statements seemed to have been made anonymously. Turns out the security guard at the garage only noticed me when, after finishing with the jeepy-things, I took on the CCTV out of spite because it had recorded everything while I'd forgotten to pull up my bandanna. He sounds pretty dozy, as his initial witness description of me, which wasn't mentioned, had me down as being white.

Sonj tells me he cast a hex on the prosecution lawyer's mouth, which could explain some of her impotency, but did some of it spill over onto my man? A poor showing all round.

At the end I made a little statement to explain that my guilty plea didn't signify any feelings of guilt, or feelings that I should feel guilty for what I had done, and mentioned that I'd e-mailed the local Toyota people in sympathy with their staff.

Cheers for thinking of me,

Rene

Rene Thomas
mail e-mail: weallpoo@yahoo.co.uk


Comments

Display the following 20 comments

  1. well done rene — stop eco-collapse
  2. Do you realise? — Wankmobile
  3. Que? — Lord Haw Haw
  4. well done — s
  5. Hmm, I see logic and reason are alien concepts to you. — Lord Haw Haw
  6. Stupid, stupid, stupid — sstteep
  7. I take onboard criticism... — Rene Thomas
  8. Weather chaos — sheffjeff
  9. more the merrier — Daimler Benztards
  10. Oof hot issue! — Silince
  11. Even stupid people have a right to be heard... — Rene Thomas
  12. well done — bleater
  13. renting the planet — Rene Thomas
  14. cars, oil and the future... — gristle
  15. Well done — ctc
  16. great report — Pippa
  17. Well done — Dave
  18. Misguided and criminal — Ian
  19. Do you just accept everything that you read? — Keith
  20. THUGS — Anon