Jeremy Clarkson is to be awarded an honorary degree by Oxford Brookes University on Monday 12th September. Yes, SERIOUSLY!!

Don’t know whether to laugh or cry?! Join Dee Lock to help celebrate Jeremy’ s big day, and a desperate day for academia, by calling on Brookes to revoke this award and saying “On yer bike, Clarkson!”

Meet at 8.45am on 12th September at the top of South Parks (by the playground at the top of Morrell Avenue) on bike or on foot.

Bring bells, whistles, placards, banners and your friends

Dress as yourself or as Jeremy: lovely tight jeans, denim shirt, cowboy boots, black curly wig, steering wheel..?

If you're thinking of dressing as Clarkson and would like to be given a 'special role' on the day email Dee at  onyerbikeclarkson@yahoo.co.uk

See you there,

X Dee

On a serious note, there is one very important factor to consider on the day: The parents of an engineering student, Howard Hillsdon, will be attending this ceremony to receive his posthumous award. Howard Hillsdon was tragically killed in a car accident which was not his fault. Please be sensitive to the feelings of his friends and family on the morning of the ceremony, and avoid references to car accidents on placards, etc.

Some choice Clarksonisms:
“In the wake of the London bombs we're told that many commuters are now switching to bicycles… can I offer five handy hints to those setting out on a bike for the first time. Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun. Do not pull up at junctions in front of a line of traffic. Because if I'm behind you, I will set off at normal speed and you will be crushed under my wheels…. Do not, ever, swear at or curse people in cars or trucks. You are a guest on roads that are paid for by motorists so if we cut you up, shut up.” (16 July 2005) "... Cars are a symbol of our release, our freedom, so enjoy them. Stop twittering on about the damage they do to the environment" (10 Dec 2003)

“So, they’re lowering the age of consent for homosexuals to four, teachers will be allowed to promote sodomy in schools and the Army is to become a hotbed of single-sex fumbling. I therefore find myself wondering. How long will it be before we get "Gay Lanes" on the motorway?” (Feb 18th 2000)

In Korea, “the Irish wolfhound is not so much a dog as a delicacy. On that basis this is not so much a car as lunch.” (18 October 1998)

“I read that the Tories are rejecting bright, well-educated candidates for being ‘too posh’. They've had a gay summit to make sure they're seen as ‘inclusive’ and leader Michael Howard is keen to open the door to as many ethnic minorities as possible. Why? We're talking about running the country here, not some two-bit outreach group for partially-clubbed seals” (24 April 2004).

“Cars sit in the Japanese psyche along with spoons and mashed potato. They don’t come naturally, ... I reckon the genetic North Pole is a 6ft 5in Brit and the genetic South Pole an 11-year-old Japanese schoolgirl" (8 May 2005).