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Strathclyde Police Slumber Party

Sean | 16.07.2005 16:48 | G8 2005 | Globalisation | Repression | Social Struggles

[Disclaimer: I have tried to make light of last week's experience in Strathclyde Police cells but this in no way reflects the serious torment I, and my fellow G8 protestor detainees experienced. I wrote the following as my clown whilst actually in the cells and the act of writing was therapeutic for me during an intensely dehumanising experience.]

On the weekend of July 8th through July 11th, I was a very lucky clown as I was invited to the Strathclyde Police Slumber Party!

I got the invitation because I hugged a fairy during a street parade. "Oh What Joy" I thought to my little clown self, excitedly anticipating party food, party games and new friends!

We did indeed play many games. I think the favourite was "Wake Up Everybody! Wake Up!" We really liked that game so much that we played it about 70 times over the weekend... Every hour on the hour "Wake Up Everybody!" It was great!

Another game we played was called "Please Sir, Can I have some more?" We played that a lot too. Whenever we wanted a glass of water or a sheet of toilet paper we played this exciting game.

All weekend we played party games and we even played tricks on each other. They played a lot of tricks on me. One trick they liked to play was "Dinner Time"... This trick involved telling me it was "Dinner Time" but instead of bringing me dinner, they brought "gloopy poopy". A very clever trick I thought. Of course, I knew it was a party trick and I didn't eat it.

When I was a young clown I onced played a trick on my clown friend. This trick involved hiding my friends clothes behind the washing machine when he was in the bath. My friend had to look for a whole 10 minutes before he found his trousers!! I think the Strathclyde police liked this trick too because they took Dr Kramer's clothes off him (except his underwear). They hid his clothes so well that he didn't get to find them the whole time we were at the slumber party!

Speaking of hiding things, one of the favourite games was "hide and seek"...Everyone played this game really well! In fact I didn't see any of the other guests at the slumber party for the whole 3 days I was there!

I must say, there were a couple of things that I didn't understand that are different from a normal slumber party. For example when my cousin had his party we all slept in the same room. But at Strathclyde Police slumber party we each had to sleep in our own room! They have a very big house you see... My room was called "Isolation Unit C, Cell 5."

Also, I wish they had told us to bring our own sheets and pillows because they didn't have any of their own but they did give me a feral duvet... Hmm, come to think of it they didn’t have any beds either. Hey maybe they had furniture too, but I didn’t see that either! Oh they do hide things ever so well.

It was a fun slumber party and I can still hear the policeman's voice saying "Wake Up Everybody! Wake Up!" ringing in my ears. I shall write to them and my solicitor friends and tell them about what a fun slumber party it was and how they could make it more fun the next time.

Bye For Now!

Sean "Major Hassles" Scullion

Sean

Comments

Hide the following 8 comments

I whiff the scent of bullshit

16.07.2005 22:23

Hi Sean

Methinks you are not telling us the full truth.

What were you REALLY arrested for? 'Hugging a fairy' just don't cut it.

And if you don't like the accommodation, don't fuck up to the stage where an invitation is extended to you.

Now stop bullshitting us and get back to your bong.

Bullshit Detector


detect this

17.07.2005 00:12


BS,

The fairy in question had been arrested for unknown reasons and so I was charged with the equivalent of "interfering with a prisoner" or more accurately "attempted rescue. I do not have a copy of a charge sheet.

I was in clown at the time of my arrest.

Also, he Dr Kraemer mentioned in my article is also mentioned on this page:  http://www.indymedia.org.uk/en/2005/07/318270.html - he was in the cell next to me.

sean

sean


Ignorance is bliss

17.07.2005 02:17

We are all brought up with a lot of similar rules about the way society works. We all hear similar things at school. Unless something happens to us as individuals that contradicts what we were taught at school, like 'Policemen are your friend, they're there to help, you can always trust a policeman, unless you're a criminal!' etc. then many of us will never question what we have been told. Even then we will often try to make what happens fit our model of logic. As protestors people are using their right to freedom of speech/assembly etc. I strongly object to what the g8 are doing. They're responsible for indirectly killing a lot of people, whether one thinks the end justifies the means or not,(see 'IraqBodyCount' website) so I protest and people like me get arrested with out needing to do anything wrong. If peaceful protest doesn't break a law police will often arrest you and lie saying that you did break a law. In the slightly longer term, parliament will create new laws, anti-terrorism etc, and then use said laws to arrest people at protests-like protesting at an arms fair makes you a terrorist or The Public Order Act under which I was arrested for telling National Front marchers to f**k off. At the same time NF marchers were giving straight armed salutes and their banners are designed to look like swastikas. The Public Order Act was brought in to stop striking miners in the 80's. Of course most people reading this are all too aware of these things and it occurs to me that people that write such offensive things as that person did really must have nothing better to do with their time than look for people to attack. Wake up!

Matt K


Self-centred twit

17.07.2005 05:10

Matt K sounds like the typical activist who has a very myopic view indeed of the right to protest and assemble.

Notice his claim for protestors to be able to "us[e] their right to freedom of speech/assembly etc."

A wonderful right, but one apparently not extended to those whose political views are different to Matt's; eg the leaders of the G8.

THEY have no right to meet and express their views.

THEY have no right to assemble and discuss matters concerning the entire human race.

No, only Matt and his supporters do. And they do more than just object to the policies of the G8. They actually do all they can to prevent those people from peacefully assembling and talking.

Matt, you're a self-centred, hypocritical twit.

Bullshit Detector


articles

17.07.2005 08:06

>

Bwahahahaha! Bullshit Detector you foolish git, what the fuck have the G8 got to do with the public's right to protest???? They are the 8 most powerful politicians on the planet meeting to consolidate their political, economic and military power over the rest of us. Surely if you're going to troll on this site you can come up with something better than that. Get a life you loser.

By the way, that was a very sneaky distraction away from the original article which probably should be read again... There have been police abuses bordering on torture (sleep deprivation was torture last time I looked) against peaceful protestors... This is an outrage!

Troll Detector


Double standards of the highest order

17.07.2005 08:21

Bullshit detector - you're obviously not very bright.

Not only did the G8 leaders meet, but they had a £20m security operation protecting them and their right to do so.

Not one of them was thrown into a cell on some stupid trumped up charge.

If anyone was denied the rights to freedom of speech and assembly, it was the protestors - who were subjected to invented and extrajudicial powers including unlawful searches, arrest and imprisonment at every turn.

The role of the cops as agents of the state was made explicit - "SOD THE LAW - WE ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN PROTECTING THE STATUS QUO"

Had they stayed within the bounds of the law, there would be many less complaints about their behaviour.

"THEY have no right to assemble and discuss matters concerning the entire human race."

If you could give us a clue as to where the leaders got this right, then it would be very useful. What gives the leaders of 8 nations the right to gang up and dictate to every single nation?





BRB


Get your facts right

17.08.2005 22:36

Seems to me that Sean & his pals haven't done their homework.

Yes, being woken every hour could be construed as sleep deprivation or to give it its legal term "cruel or unusual punishment".

They have however forgotten about Article 2 of the Human Rights Act 1998, or the positive obligation to "protect life". This is placed on police when they take persons into custody.

And the powers that be within the EU will not discharge to police of the resposibility to ensure that all persons in custody have their life protected whilst in police care. This means regularly visiting prisoners every hour & getting a verbal response every time. The last thing they want is 1 of you muppets topping yourself in a cell (i.e. you come in alive, you leave alive).

Oink


Wake up clowns

07.10.2005 11:00

Why don't they clowns who went to Gleneagles go and protest in Zimbabwe or North Korea,China etc.and give us freedom loving people peace.Then they might appreciate how good it is to live here, G8 leaders or not.I'm quite sure by the time they get out of jail (if they get out of jail ) they would be in no fit state to cry and moan about Strathclyde Police who are the most caring police force I've encountered.And by the way when did blocking roads,bridges,railway lines and smashing up Burger King become peaceful protest ?

Away and spend your giros on a one way ticket to Outer Mongolia and give us all peace.

fed up scottish guy