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Downing Street Bouncers Must Throw Blair Out

Ed Campbell | 08.05.2005 13:41

The fall out from the general election has raised only raised a few eyebrows (Gordon Browns). Never has a winner been so unwanted. The only way to appreciate mainstream national politics properly , is to join them in the Unreal World of the Westminister Bubble. To do this read one of the Sunday broadsheets, and go through the looking glass. So put yourself in that far away irrelevent world of Westminister for a few minutes – for comment on general Election wind-up or hangover, read on – otherwise ignore and remain safely, and no less wiser, in reality.


The main reason Blair won his historic third term in the 2005 reality TV General Election is that Tory leader Michael Howard was not only without charm, but without good sense and so completely useless.

Unlike Howard, Liberal leader, Kennedy only occasionally emerged from his campaigning battle bus to negate the tiny amount of charisma and passion that Blair’s poor acting and stage-managed affair with his star chancellor created.

Only a few days after the election the affair is over with a return to feuding. Brown would like Blair out on arse from 10 Downing now, as his impatient twitching and distorting of his face.

Brown is longer comfortable in his own body – probably because his brain has been switched, changing from British slightly Bennite Socialist to US toadying New-Liberal, and is languishing in jail before then that it just doesn’t just recognise its old body – some sort of transplant rejection, perhaps. So do most of new-liberal hacks in today’s Sunday papers.

Many give an optimum time when he should go – ranging from now until 2008. This was mostly justified with certainty by nonsense analysis using Westminster village bubble talk. Some hacks use visits to football matches for inspiration, its their way of connecting to the real world. It's there they can connect with the people.

Football is where many of them, and the politicians they incessantly write crap about, go to connect with reality, sad lot; little do they realise, but football is an escape from reality for normal people.

Odds on Blair’s out on his arse, and queuing up for a seat in the lords by the end of the year, if, by then he isn’t languishing in jail awaiting to be tried for mass murder.

One major problem that indicates Blair may stay on through his third term is the advice given by Robin Cook, the former foreign secretary who resigned over the invasion of Iraq. He said yesterday:

“The question Tony Blair should be reflecting on this weekend is having achieved this, having secured his place in the history of the Labour Party and the history of Britain, whether now might be a better time to let a new leader in who could then achieve the unity we need if we are going to go forward," he said, yesterday.

Blair has always ignored and done the opposite to Cooks advice. He wouldn’t be where he was today without ignoring it. So why change this strategy when it has worked so sweetly, Blair and his close circle of chums are probably thinking - being out of it has kept in a job.

Yes they are well and truely out of it - it's unreality TV politics - expect anything and nothing. Fantastical bullshit and conjuring tricks. The world of Tony and Alistaire Campbell is a mad mad one.

At least there's four more years until the next general Election, unless a revolution kicks off first. It's got to be worth it, just to spare the country another the torture of another one.

Ed Campbell