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Activist Scenes Are No Safe Space for Women

Hippie | 09.02.2005 12:34 | Gender | Social Struggles | Sheffield

Activist Scenes are No Safe Space for Women: On Abuse of Activist Women by
Activist Men

By Tamara K. Nopper

February 4, 2005

 tnopper@yahoo.com

Copyright ? 2005 Tamara K. Nopper

As a woman who has experienced physical and emotional abuse from men, some
of
whom I had long relationships with, it is always difficult to learn from
other
activist women that they are being abused by activist men.

The interrelated issues of sexism, misogyny and homophobia in activist
circles
is rampant, so it is unsurprising that women are abused physically and
emotionally by activist men with whom they work with on various projects.

I am not speaking abstractedly here. Indeed, I know of various
relationships
between activist men and women in which the latter is being abused if not
physically, emotionally. For example, a long time ago a friend of mine
showed
me bruises on her arm that she told me were from another male activist.
This
woman certainly struggles emotionally, which is somewhat expected given that
she has experienced physical abuse. What was additionally heartbreaking to
see
is how the woman was shunned by activist circles when she tried to talk
about
her abuse or have it addressed. Some told her to get over it, or to focus
on
?real? male assholes such as prominent political figures. Others told her
to
not let her ?personal problems? get in the way of ?doing the work.?

I struggled with my friend?s recovery too. As a survivor of abuse, it was
difficult to meet a woman who in some ways was a ghost of me. I would run
into this woman, and she would randomly tell me about another fight that she
and her boyfriend had gotten into. I would find myself avoiding this woman
because frankly, it was hard to look at a woman who reminded me too much of
who I was not too long ago: a scared, embarrassed and desperate person who
would babble to anyone willing to listen about what was happening to her.
In
other words, I, like this woman, had gone through the desperation of trying
to
get out of an abusive relationship and needing to finally tell people what
was
happening to me. And similar to how this woman was treated, most people,
even
those I called friends, shied away from listening to me because they did not
want to be bothered or were struggling with their own emotional struggles.

The embarrassment associated with telling people that you have been abused,
and like myself, stayed in an abusive relationship, is made even worse by
the
responses you get from people. Rather than be sympathetic, many people were
disappointed in me. Many times I was told by people that they were
?surprised? to find out that I had ?put up with that shit? because unlike
?weak women,? I was a ?strong? and ?political? woman. This response is
downright misogynist because it denies how dominant patriarchy and hatred of
women and the ?feminine? is, and instead tries to place the blame on women.
That is, we are to ignore that women are being abused by men and instead
emphasize the character of women as the definitive reason for why some are
abused and others don?t ?put up with that shit.?

I can?t help but think that other activist women who have been abused,
whether
by activist men or not, also face similar difficulties recovering from
abuse.
Regardless of one?s politics, women can be and do get abused. Anyone who
refuses to believe this either just doesn?t listen to women or think about
what women go through on the regular. And this is because they are just
hostile to recognizing how pervasive and normalized patriarchy and misogyny
are?both outside of and within activist circles.

More, a lot of us want to believe that activist men really are different
from
our fathers, brothers, old boyfriends, and male strangers we confront in our
daily routines. We want to have some faith that the guy who writes a
position
paper on sexism and posts it on his website is not writing it just to make
himself look good, get pussy, or cover up some of his dangerous practices
towards women. We want to believe that women are being respected for their
skills, energy and political commitment and are not being asked to do work
because they are viewed as ?exploitable? and ?abuse-able? by activist men.
We
want to believe that if an activist male made an unwarranted advance or
physically/sexually assaulted an activist woman that it would promptly and
thoughtfully be dealt with by organizations and political communities?and
with
the input of the victim. We want to think that activist groups are not so
easily enticed by the skills or ?name-power? that an activist male brings to
a
project that they are willing to let a woman be abused or have her recovery
go unaddressed in exchange. And we would like to think that ?security
culture? in activist circles does not only focus on issues of listserv
protocol or using fake names at rallies but actually includes thinking
proactively about how to deal with misogyny, patriarchy and heterosexism
both
outside of and within the activist scenes.

But all of these wishes, all of these dreams obviously tend to go
unaddressed.
Instead, I know of activist men who troll political spaces like predators
looking for women that they can politically manipulate or fuck without
accountability. Like abusive priests, some of these men literally move from
city to city looking to recreate themselves and find fresh meat among those
who are unfamiliar with their reputation. And I have seen activist women
give
their labor and skills to activist men (who often take the credit) in hopes
that the abusive activist man will finally get his act right or appreciate
her
as a human being.

While romance between activists is fine, I think it is disgusting how
activist
men use romance to control women politically and keep women emotionally
committed to helping the man out politically, even when his politics are
corny
or problematic. Or, in some cases, activist men get involved in politics to
find women they can involve in abusive relationships and control. And given
that abuse brings out the worst in the victim, I have seen where women
interact with other activists (particularly women) in ways they might not
normally if they were not being politically and emotionally manipulated by
men. For example, I know of abused activist females who have spread rumors
about other activist women or have gotten involved in political battles
between her boyfriend and other activists.

What?s scary is that I know activist men who were abusing and manipulating
female activist and at the same time, writing position papers on sexism and
competition between women. Sometimes the activist male will pen the
position
paper with his activist girlfriend in order to gain more legitimacy. I know
of activist men who quote bell hooks, Gloria Anzaldua, or other feminist
writers one minute and are harassing or spreading lies and gossip about
their
activist girlfriend the next. And activist men will school activist women
on
how to be less competitive with other women to conceal their abusive and
manipulative behavior.

What is more heartbreaking is the level of support abusive activist men find
from other activists, male and female but most usually other men. Not only
do
activist women have to confront and negotiate their abuser in activist
circles, they must usually do so in a political community that talks a good
game but in the end could give a shit about the victims? emotional and
physical safety. On many occasions I have listened to women?s stories of
abuse be retold and recast by activist men in a hostile and sexist manner.
And when they recast this story, they often do in that voice, the voice that
is snide, accusatory and mocking.

For example, when I was sharing with an activist male my concerns about how
an
activist female was being treated by an activist male who held a prominent
position in a political group, the man ?listening? to my story said in that
voice, ?Oh, she?s probably just mad ?cause he started dating someone else?
and
went on to make fun of her. He continued to tell me that while he
?acknowledges? the man is wrong, the woman needs to stand up to the man if
she
wants the treatment to stop. Unfortunately this man?s brand of misogyny
disguised as male feminism is all too common in activist circles given that
a
lot of men in general believe that women are abused because they are weak or
secretly want to be in relationships with abusive men. More, his comments
revealed an attitude that assumes that if activist women take issue with
activist men, they are ?crying abuse? to cover up hidden sexual desires and
anger over being rejected by men who ?won?t fuck them.?

I find it disgusting that women?s physical and emotional safety is of little
concern to activist men in general. While activist men will pay some lip
service to how they need to keep their mouths shut when women are talking or
how women only spaces are necessary, all too often ?critical? and
?political?
people do not want to confront the fact that women are being abused by male
activists in our circles. When the issue is ?addressed,? more often than
not
attention will be given to ?struggling with? the man (i.e., letting him stay
and maybe just gossiping about him). I have even seen some situations where
abusive men become adopted, so to speak, by other activists, who see
rehabilitating the man as part of their project and think little about what
this means for the women who are trying to recover. In some cases, the male
activist abuser was adopted while the woman was shunned as ?unstable,?
?crazy?
or ?too emotional.? Basically, these groups would rather help a cold,
calculating
guy who can ?keep it together? while he abuses women rather than deal with
the reality that abuse can contribute to emotional and social difficulties
among victims as they work to become survivors.

And in some cases, activist women will avoid going to the police because she
is critical of the prison industrial complex but also because other activist
men will tell her she is ?contributing to the problem? by ?bringing the
state
in.? But in most cases, the activist male is not chastised for the problems
he has created. Thus, women are stuck having to figure out how to insure
her
safety without being labeled a ?sell-out? by her activist peers.

While I am a strong believer that we need to try to work towards healing
rather than punishment per se, I am painfully aware that we often put more
emphasis on helping men stay in activist circles than supporting women
through
their recoveries, which might involve the need to have the man purged from
the
political group. Basically, the group will usually determine that the
activist abuser must be allowed to heal without asking the woman what she
needs from the group to heal and be supported in her process. I know of
many
examples of where women are forced to put up with the groups? unwillingness
to
address abuse. Some will remain involved in organizations because they
believe in the work and frankly, there are few spaces to go, if any, where
she
is not at risk of being abused by another activist or have her abuse
unaddressed. Others will simply leave the organization. I have seen how
these
women get treated by other activists?men and women?who treat women coldly or
gossip that
they are selfish or sell-outs for letting the personal get in way of ?the
work.?

Or, if activist women who have been abused are ?supported,? it is usually
because she does ?good work? or that not addressing the abuse will be ?bad
for
the group.? In this sense, the physical, emotional and spiritual health of
women is still sacrificed. Instead, the woman?s abuse must be addressed
because if it is not, she might not continue doing ?good work? for the
organization or there might be too much tension in the group for it to run
efficiently. Either way, women?s safety is not viewed as worthy of concern
in
and of itself.

Overall, activist scenes are no safe space for women because misogynists and
abusive men exist within them. More, many of these abusers use the
language,
tools of activism and support by other activists as means to abuse women and
conceal their behavior. And unfortunately, in a lot of political circles,
regardless of how much we talk about patriarchy or misogyny, women are
sacrificed in order to keep up ?the work? or save the organization. Perhaps
it is time we actually just care that activist women are vulnerable to being
manipulated and abused by activist males and consider that proactively
addressing this is an integral part of the ?work? that activists must do.

Tamara K. Nopper is a writer, educator and activist living in Philadelphia.

Hippie

Comments

Hide the following 9 comments

hippie

09.02.2005 13:16

>>activist scenes are no safe space for women because misogynists and
abusive men exist within them.

there are no doubt misogynists and abusive men involved in activism. does this lead to the conlusion that activism isn't safe for women? ridiculous. go ask many of the women involved in today's activism if they are deterred by your article. much of the activism i see on this wire and elsewhere is led by women who often show the greatest determination in the face of adversity. misogyny and abuse have no place anywhere. activism included.

- -


First lets take a poll

09.02.2005 13:53

We need more information to decide the seriousness of the problem (where it belongs on the activist agenda). Needless to say, this is not a question for the male activists (except of course as it might affect male-male sexuality). But activist women, speak up. Do you think......

1) There is significantly more sexual harrasment within the acitvist community than in the society in general.
2) There is slightly more sexual harrasment within the acitvist community than in the society in general.
3) There is about the same sexual harrasment within the acitvist community than in the society in general.
4) There is slightly less sexual harrasment within the acitvist community than in the society in general.
5) There is significantly less sexual harrasment within the acitvist community than in the society in general.

When we see the results of this poll we will know better the extent to which sexual harrasment and abuse are a significant problem within the activist community. Obvuiously if the answer is 1 or 2, then this needs to be a top priority issue. If the answer is 3 or 4, it's still an important issue.

But if the anmswer is 5, then while the issue is still meaningful, any discussion of it must be within the context of discussing why we activists are not "perfect" in other regards >

Mike
mail e-mail: stepbystepfarm mtdata.com


isolated ghetto style???

09.02.2005 15:53

Many power relantionships r still in place in activists loci and modi operandi.
it s not 'that there s an isolated ghetto or bucolic paradise for good hearted-willing purist activists.
As society called me woman and only realised that I was one when i was for the first abused phisically , I do see activists'environments little safer than other places in society.But hey if there was a perfect place with no powers no games etc we wouldnt be fighting in da fisrt place. We r not perfect but we admit that and try to better ourselves and question ourselves and of course make lotta mistakes. We r not offering immediate solutions , we r work in progress ...as for the not symphatetic people..that s sad..but we shouldnt get tired of denoucing any abuse ever in any of its forms in any place we r.
In activist cirlces there s cigarettes, alchool,skipped gm foods, bad electricity, cars, projectors and so on...the evils of the system but we r trying to make sensible use of it so we should do with bad "habits" we inherided from our previous experiences....
love hope and patience to all

mantis


abit more information please

09.02.2005 21:44

It is striking how little information is in this article. For example, the author says that she has both experienced and heard about others that have experience abuse but she fails to tell us in which city this happened or in what particular group. For example there is a big difference in group dynamics between the SWP and earth first.


My theory is that it is best to stay on the safe side and be nice to everyone.

crazy person


let's generalize about global activist scenes...

10.02.2005 01:58

For articles about patriarchy/sexism etc in UK ecological protest scene, try

 http://www.eco-action.org/dod/no8/burn.html
and
 http://www.eco-action.org/dod/no7/10-13.html

or just start with the UK (not the subject of article), eh?


symptom

10.02.2005 19:19

That's another symptom of the fundamental sickness in the left generally these days. When they know nothing politically, and accept the demands of fundies like the MAB in Britain, then why are we surprised at finding other aspects of repressive societies?

A lot of people are activists in name only, because there is a certian prestige to being one, but they don't want to invest the effort or time in learning about the ideals they are defending. People still can't understand what free speech means- even activists.

Abu Burkan


obsessive anti-Muslim agenda

11.02.2005 12:11

Wondered how long that'd take. Heaven forbid we should have a serious discussion about addressing sexist attitudes + behaviour in the movement. No, much better we pretend it's all the fault of Muslims, just like everything else...

type


Quite Right

11.02.2005 22:18

Quite right, how dare anyone blame Muslim attitudes or views on this issue. After all this is Indymedia where only Jews are responsible for the world'sproblems.

Now let's get back to some anti-semitism where we all belong

Jew