We take global warming very seriously. The campaign is a serious nuisance and impediment to our campaign for more and cheaper petrol. Furthermore we all know that whilst Britain will have serious flooding problems, and if the Atlantic converyor system is disrupted, glaciation, the USA will be largly spared these effects.

But most importantly of all, with the Rapture close upon us, really does it matter?

Thank you, Prime Minister for your help as we expropriated in an extremely hostile takeover the Iraqi National Oil Company. Until I am translated to Heaven I plan to enjoy driving as much as possible.

I have an old pair of skis I can send you, or perhaps you would prefer my daughter's water-wings. She has outgrown them and anyway is almost ready for her own car.

From the Imperial Capital
Chris Herz