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Bull^Dozer | 02.02.2005 02:39 | Animal Liberation

Taming the raging animal passions
By Robert Shrimsley
Published: February 1 2005 02:00 | Last updated: February 1 2005 02:00



Animal-rights militants are understandably put out by new legislation restricting their right to dig up dead bodies and depict innocent people as paedophiles as part of their campaign to target any person or company which does business with vivisectionists.

The measures outlined yesterday will create a new catch-all offence which should make it easier to prosecute the extremists who are terrorising businesses out of Britain.
Yet the entire concept of animal rights has always seemed a curious one, given that such entitlements are normally won rather than freely given.

Animals have chosen to absent themselves from almost all major civil-rights struggles. History records no animals in the upper echelons of the chartist movement; the livestock of the southern states of the USA was absolutely nowhere when blacks were fighting against slavery. Indeed, dogs often sided with the police against civil-rights marchers in the 1960s.

Even the noblest equine families have been unable to muster up one horse ready to throw itself in front of the Queen's relatives on Derby day. On those rare times when animals do achieve high office - as Caligula's horse did on being made a senator - they do nothing with their power.

Even so, one must question whether the sort of clampdown unveiled yesterday can ever succeed. It may be that a political process akin to the Northern Ireland talks offers a possible model for the way forward.
There are reasons for optimism. It is notable, for example, that the animals themselves have refused to offer any support to the extremists purportedly acting on their behalf. It is unclear whether their non-participation reflects unease with the extremists' tactics or merely their failure as yet to reach the required level of political alienation.

Animals have suffered from a lack of articulate, moderate leaders to take their campaign to the next level. Many are known to favour campaigns of passive resistance, as anyone who has ever tried to shoo a cow from a country lane will confirm. But assuming they are ready to move to dialogue they must first disavow all terrorism, violence and grave-robbing.

Clearly the animals would have to compromise too. In return for not being injected with botox, rats, for example, would have to give an explicit commitment to stop spreading disease; while beagles would be allowed to quit smoking if they abandon fox-hunting. Even if all this is agreed, the path to peace remains tricky. One intemperate raid on a grain silo by militant ruminants and we could be back to square one.


The above rant to the capitalist community was uncovered at:  http://news.ft.com/cms/s/62a64ef4-73f6-11d9-b705-00000e2511c8.html

Visit  http://www.vivisection-absurd.org.uk for real information on the cruelty, futility and immense dangers to human health of animal testing.


Together, we will beat this scourge of the twentieth century. The vivisectors days are very much numbered.

Bull^Dozer

Comments

Hide the following 7 comments

Oh come on man, it was funny!

02.02.2005 12:42

I believe in animal rights, but this article was taking the piss and in quite a humorous why too, I thought.

What's the matter with you, got no sense of humour?

bloke


Hold the Front Page....

02.02.2005 14:12

....animal rights activist in "no sense of humour" shock!

ALF Garnett


The Humourless Vegan - a bad advert for the cause?

02.02.2005 15:29

Tragically a lack of protein intake leads to this sort of po-faced, pallid behaviour.

Now where's my fry-up?

Scrummy Yummy Steaks with Onions - MMMMMM!


AR Humour

02.02.2005 21:22

Well, Mr Steak-man, methinks the last laugh is on you.

One of the more amusing things about being a po-faced vegan is watching the comic struggles of witless wonders like you.

It's amazing how many people really do think the voluntary and informed rejection of animal products is a kind of self-flagellating torture; that we constantly crave that which we find repulsive on both moral and health grounds.

To think we'd find the medieval image of you salivating over a cow's arse attractive...now, that's humour.

This reporter was once a funny guy, now he's just sterile
. He's an FT hack, he's transmogrified into the very person he probably once despised at university. He earns a fraction of the mint his business contacts do and he's bitter. He's out to impress them, out to speak their language; he likes that rich director bloke laughing with him.

It's all a bit sad for him really; if only he'd just think what "rights" mean. I wonder what right he's fought to win in his life - a few "freely given" free lunches, perhaps?

One day, when he no longer indulges his arrogance, he'll realise what we in animal rights are all about.

One day, he'll become a grown-up journalist who asks proper questions, who has an inquiring mind, who does delves into what really goes on in his grubby corporate world - a world that uses torture to make profit, all marketed as "progress".

And as for the "bloke" who says he believes in animal rights: no, you don't.



ant


Wow, that's me told

03.02.2005 12:34

Ticked off by the very epitome of a humourless loser vegan. I'm gutted.

I particularly love your delusion that an appetite for meat is "mediaeval". I guess you don't realise that next to nobody could afford meat in the Middle Ages.

Nah, that would require knowledge rather than dogma.

Cheer up and eat your tofu, now, and leave the thinking to us omnivores, who eat as nature intended. Ever wondered what your canines are for?

Venus Fly Trap


...

03.02.2005 20:12

'Venus fly trap' - You are no comedian in the truw sense of the word, rather just a pathetic AR baiting troll and it seems 'avid supporter of vicious animal cruelty'.

It matters not sh*thead the crap that you may spout in retalliation towards real feelings from human hearts.

How uncomfortable you must feel within whilst your heart is telling you that compassion is the way? Feel it.

Never the less.. keep on watching tv, reading the newspapers, enjoying your work and salary, voting and the material enjoyment that has clouded your vision, stolen and replaced your dreams.

A fighter you are not. You gave in too easily and sold your dreams for sh*t. Death on two legs, now aimlessly walking the earth without a care.

You will never be 'your-self' and that is punishment enough :))


See ya .. . .

Wrath_Of^Vengeance


knowledge

03.02.2005 23:16

Mr Steak-man

I bow to your knowledge for you seem certain Nature intended Man, who is blessed with the ability to think (well, some of us are anyway), tg go out and kill when he does not have to.

I bow to your omnivorous thinking power, since you have obviously concluded our agricultural system an efficient, sustainable system. Clearly, what a disaster it would be if we were actually compassionate.

I think the steak has blocked the comprehension part of your brain as well as your arteries. Naturally, I pictured you as a medieval peasant salivating over a cow's arse, not a dry-mouthed noble bored of his fayre.

Nope, never wondered what my canines are for. Maybe I will if I get to meet you, eh?

ant