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Tories: The desperation continues.

Guido | 25.01.2005 15:21 | Analysis | Anti-racism | London

After grabbing the headlines for a full 45 seconds by stealing immigration policies from the BNP, the tories unveiled 2 new potential vote winners today (pictured below).

1) Wooing the female vote: "Go on give us a kiss, I wont bite, promise..."
1) Wooing the female vote: "Go on give us a kiss, I wont bite, promise..."

2) The youth Vote: "Hello there, would you like to see some puppies?"
2) The youth Vote: "Hello there, would you like to see some puppies?"


Tory insiders have strongly hinted that Mr Howard will be holding a charity jumble sale in his constituancy this weekend to raise money for vampires affected by the tsunami. Meanwhile Boris Johnson has declared his intention to perform at a local strip club in a bid to boost the conservative vote at the next election into double figures. Tony Blair was too busy killing Iraqi civilians and eating their offal to comment.

Guido
- e-mail: guidoreports@riseup.net

Comments

Display the following 6 comments

  1. Controlling immigration is not racist! — Micheal
  2. Oops, let something slip there didn't you. — Guido
  3. No Borders — Chris
  4. I see so having electricity entitles you to be counted? — capt wardrobe
  5. Freedom at any cost.. even if it means the Tories — Guido's Guide
  6. Stop having babies! — Sim1