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new year resolution - I quit .

ben | 01.01.2005 00:19 | Free Spaces | Social Struggles

While I don't believe for a moment that I can really stick to it, my new years resolution, mad from the depths of anger and depression, is to quit this hypocritical scene laugthingly refered to by some as a 'movement' and join the ranks of those honest enough to admit they are capitalist back stabing individualist wankers. May 2005 be the year that I re-enter the matrix and rejoin a world in which at least I know to expect the worst off of everyone and don't deceive myself into thinking there might be support or comradeship from anyone. I've wasted to much time on this hopeless pointless shit.

.

ben

Comments

Hide the following 12 comments

..movement!

01.01.2005 01:37

Velcome home son, very touched! I seen your cheekbones showing due to stress and I wanted to jump over rampart's roof.They'll never be a progresive movement in UK period!

Stella and Skunk


cheer up you twat!

02.01.2005 04:48


boring negative self pity is not interesting.

neb


cause and effect

02.01.2005 12:02

child of the universe,thats what you are,the universe is smiling upon us giving what you need when you need it,so try to stop growling or being so hard on yourself and those around you, there will always be highs and lows and human failings,you Know it is hard to see bigger picture when your part of it................

positive vibe


Do what you want

02.01.2005 17:01

and stop seeking everyone's attention until you've got something worth telling people. Grow up, in short.
Moderators - are you sure this is news?

Jim


movement disappears up its own arse?

03.01.2005 12:36

don't blame you, Ben. sick of hippies and rich lifestylists sklumming it and largwe egos and would be academics and academics -would-be revolutionaries. It's all a bit too comfortable isn't it. Peace man, If we concentrate really hard then the missiles will go away - yeah right. as for those of you fuckers still out slagging off so called violent protestors - get a life you deluded fat fucks. News? Views? I luv Indymedia. Fuck it. Get an editorial policy, Most of these people are too STUPID.

fuck all hippy wankers


sometimes

03.01.2005 14:39



it's not easy for me using this website but it is necessary to stay with the disinformation, here as well as with that of other communities, a bit like join the .....

Yes we are all ignorant and misinformed (some more than others), we can also be brilliant too.

wishing Indymedia peace and clarity for 2005.

persephone


soul

03.01.2005 14:51


sorry, forgot another wish, i wish Indymedia soul.

persephone


resignation and self indulgence

03.01.2005 19:40

Jim called on the moderators and asked whether my post was news. Well, once sober, I'd be the first to agree it's not news and would have hidden it from the newswire myself (as one of indymedia's moderators) but I couldn't as I used my (non-hierarchal) superuser status to delete my own account (in order to help ensure that I stick to my resolution).

"stop seeking everyone's attention until you've got something worth telling people." - Jim

I notice the articles about Blunket quitting have remained in the newswire and in fact his resignation made a feature. Now I don't for one second consider myself as 'important' in 'the movement' as this labour politician. Perhaps if Blunket had written his own resignation piece on indymedia it would have been hidden as attention seeking self pity - or for using indymedia as a party political platform. Perhaps if a 'journalist' had written a report of my resignation then it would have been 'news' and stayed unhidden. I'm sure this all reveals something but can't be bothered to figure it out.

"boring negative self pity is not interesting." - neb

Indeed. Thanks to Neb (Ben backwards - ben's alt ego?) for pointing this out. At this time I really needed a precise and intelligent observation to wake me up to the reality of the situation. It's not interesting and it's certainly not important. I hope I can get my head in order enough to slip away and join the long long list of burnt out activists who vanish and are forgotten. Nothing changes and it seems that we come no closer to figuring out why.


ben


Heh Ben

05.01.2005 00:29

Thanks for the advice. I've given up. Why don't we all give up and become attention seeking capitalist bastards?

That'll really help

:)

Armed revolutionary


WHAT?!! Still checking these hidden pages?...

05.01.2005 00:31

...you deeply, deeply sad mutherfucker. I knew you would be...

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Old Bill


well, it 'is' big news...

05.01.2005 02:41

for people whose activism is not just reading indymedia. For those of us in London, England and surroundings who came down to London over the ESF (to name just one thing in which Ben has been involved), this quitting is really sad and worrying. It feels that one of the most exciting projects in London is left in a way orphan!

We should respect your decision but I am sure I am not the only saddened one.

In any case, remember... that no matter how well-intentioned the anticapitalist 'movement' is, mischief and back stabbing is as inherent to human nature as hierarchy is.

The same intelligence that the human being has, and its ability to change the enviroment for self-behalf, is the very fact that is leading human being to its self destruction, as some have realised.

Therefore what this movement is doing in practical terms is nothing, apart from putting us in a position to realise this by experience. Because the root cause to poverty starvation etc. etc. does not lay in a system (currently capitalism) that is 'external' to the human beings. The root cause is selfishness and the instict of survival, self-preservation and self-improvement at all costs that lay in everyone's nature.

Does this mean that the 'movement' and being within it is worthless? I do not think so.

The problem of activism is when it becomes a duty, or when you take it as militancy. If you do not enjoy what you do, you either look for another way of doing it or you end up quitting (not my words but since they were said in private i can not credit them in public :-p).

The movement is worth if just by being in it there is an improvement in your life. Being in the "movement" is not a means for a future and uncertain end of a better world. Getting involved, building something is worth in itself because it is joyful and makes us better persons.

If we do not understand this, if we are repeatedly backstabbed and we just can not process it anymore, or if we have taken activism so hard it has become a duty, yes we get burnt out and we quit. If by that our life improves, fair enough. The rest of us should respect this.

Just as I respect your support for hiding this posting, but if you had not said that I would have opposed its hiding as a very relevant piece of news at least for the London site. Maybe even for a feature, but then... people who would undersand the importance of this piece of news do not need to come to indymedia to notice your abscence.

Ben you will be missed.

1na


Let the man do what the man wants to do

07.01.2005 01:49

1NA Hee hee - of course we're all just Indymedia swivel chair activists - myself I've never been out and done an action, or used Ramparts or met Ben.

If you want to believe that, thats fine, even though its a load of complete toss.

Indymedia doesn't promote hierarchy - so step back and let Ben off that pedastel.

He wants to become a capitalist after all....... and he won't be able to do it if he stays where he is.....

armed revolutionary