THE US CONSTITUTION, THE BIBLE AND GOD'S ETERNAL LAW
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>Dear President Bush,
>
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>Thank you for reminding us to obey God's Law. I have
>learned a great deal from you and understand why you
>support a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex
>marriage. As you said, "In the eyes of God marriage is
>based between a man a woman."
>
>I try to share your knowledge with as many people as I
>can. When someone tries to defend homosexual
>relationships, I simply remind them that Leviticus
>18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of
>debate.
>
>I do need some advice from you, however, regarding
>some other elements of God's Law and how to follow
>them.
>
>1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both
>male and female, provided they are purchased from
>neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this
>applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
>clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
>
>2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
>sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what
>do you think would be a fair price for her?
>
>3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
>while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness -
>Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have
>tried asking, but most women take offense.
>
>4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, it
>creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The
>problem is with my neighbors. They claim the odor is
>not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
>
>5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
>Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put
>to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself,
>or should I ask the police to do it?
>
>6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating
>shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a
>lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
>Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of
>abomination?
>
>7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar
>of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit
>that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be
>20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
>
>8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
>including the hair around their temples, even though
>this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should
>they die?
>
>9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
>dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play
>football if I wear gloves?
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>10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by
>planting two different crops in the same field, as
>does his wife by wearing garments made of two
>different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He
>also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
>necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the
>whole neighborhood together to stone them? Lev.
>24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
>private family affair, like we do with people who
>sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
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>11. I would like to take on a second wife and maybe a
>few concubines, if I can scrape enough money together.
>Are you proposing an amendment to ban compulsory
>monogamy?
>
>I know you have studied these things extensively and
>thus possess considerable expertise in such matters,
>so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for
>reminding us that God's word is eternal and
>unchanging, and that our constitution and laws ought
>to enforce it.
>
>Sincerely,
>
>Joe Christian-American
>
>PS: Do you know where I can get a used Mexican cheap?
>(Lev. 25:44)
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