Faux News: At 5:00 EST today, in the midst of rush hour, America's enemies exploded a nuclear bomb over Cambridge, MA, a city known for its liberalism and radical politics. Ground zero appears to have been directly over MIT's nuclear power plant. Satellite photos indicate that much of Cambridge, Boston, Watertown and Belmont are in flames. Rescue personnel are unable to enter the area due to the high radiation counts. Physical damage from the blast extends approximately eight miles from ground zero, though raging fires are currently out of control and are expected to consume a much larger area in the coming days.
President Bush responded to the attack quickly, stating that intelligence information suggested that the attack was launch by Iran and North Korea. The President declared martial law and a curfew was enacted in all American cities. Shoot on sight orders were issued to the National Guard which has now been deployed in all major American cities, around important national assets and other high value targets of terrorists.

Faux News asked the President what, if any effect, the attacks would have on the coming presidential elections. The President reiterated that steps had already been taken to ensure the continuation of democracy, however he refused to answer the specific question of whether elections would take place as scheduled.

BBC: 10:00 EST - Reports coming out of Iran indicate that a high yield nuclear explosion evaporated the city of Tehran just minutes ago. The death toll is estimated to be in the millions. Attempts to contact the Iranian Government are being made without success. Russian President Vladimir Putin has indicated that their national defense system detected a launch for North Dakota in the United States of America and tracked the ICBM throughout its course to Tehran. The Russian President denounced the actions as a crime against humanity.
BBC: 10:13 EST - Residents of Seoul, South Korea are being evacuated from the city. The BBC has been unable to confirm reports that North Korean soldiers have crossed the demilitarized zone dividing the two Koreas.
New York Times: 10:15 EST - Communications with the city of P'yongyang, North Korea, have ceased as reports of a catastrophic event in that city slowly leak out of the closed nation.
Japan Times: 10:21 EST - Reporters from South Korea are confirming rumors of a large mushroom cloud visible to the north from positions south of Seoul. The Japanese Defense Forces have been put on alert. Martial law has been declared in Japan. All citizens are urged to stay in their homes until further announcements are made.
Miami Herald: 11:00 EST - American military forces are being deployed throughout Southern Florida today, surprising the residents of this city. Beach goers have been ordered off of the beach. The deployment took residents by surprise as there were no reports of troop movements before the deployment began. Oscar Ramirez, a local resident, expressed his surprise telling this reporter that "they appear to have come out of no where." He speculated that they were already in place before the attack on Boston.
Worcester Telegram: 11:08 EST - A nuclear device exploded over Cambridge today at approximately 9:00 AM. Initial estimates of the damages include projections of between 500,000 and 1,000,000 dead. All efforts by the Telegram to gain access to locations closer to the Boston area have been stopped by military units deployed on all major highways and roads between Worcester and Boston. Some residents report that the road blocks were in place within minutes of the attack. Rescue vehicles and crews are being denied access to the Boston area. According to FEMA, local fire departments must stand by and wait for instructions before deployment.
UPI: 11:15 EST - The President is expected to make an announcement this evening at 9:00 PM EST. Sources expect the President to declare what is already obvious: that we are in a state of war. Reports from the foreign press indicate that the United States has launched nuclear attacks against Iran and North Korea. Sources in Miami indicate that a massive mobilization, an apparent preparation to invade Cuba, is underway.
Japan Times: 11:30 EST - All communications with North and South Korea have ceased. Satellite reports indicate that the United States of America launched a nuclear attack upon North Korea at 9:59 EST. At 10:05, North Korea responded with a devastating nuclear attack on South Korea. At this time it is impossible to make estimates of the number of casualties. We expect the numbers to exceed 10 million lives lost.
The Government of Japan has denounced the attacks upon the Koreas.

New York Times: 12:00 Noon - There are reports from Jordan of three large mushroom clouds to the west. At this time we do not know whether the strikes targeted Israel or the West Bank. However, in either case it is certain that the entire region has been devastated. The source of the attacks is not yet known.
The Guardian: 12:01 Noon - In an act of retaliation, just seconds before three nuclear tipped missiles exploded over Tel Aviv and other Israeli cities, Israel launched forty nuclear tipped missiles. Nuclear explosions have been reported in Riyadh, Cairo, Beirut, Tehran, Damascus, and Tripoli.
Granma: 12:30 Noon - President Fidel Castro calls upon the Cuban People to rise up and defend their homeland against the Yankee aggression expected to begin within hours. Cuban military facilities have begun distribution of arms to the People. All Cubans have now been inducted into the military service.
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED: 12:35 - President Bush, in a bid to cancel the elections, launched a nuclear attack upon the City of Boston today. Reports from the surrounding areas indicate that troops had been deployed before the 9:00 AM attack. Floridians are reporting troop movements the night before the attacks. Indeed, according to Miami residents, they awoke to find their city effectively under martial law by dawn.
Boston, an historically progressive city, was expected to vote strongly against Bush in the coming elections. Rumblings in Miami indicated that the local Cuban population had turned against Bush in large numbers and were planning on voting for Kerry. The reason for their disapproval of Bush was rooted in what they characterized as new inhumane measures preventing Cuban-Americans from sending funds to their families in Cuba.

With the advent of possible military action against Cuba's communist government, Cuban-Americans are expected to throw their support behind Bush.

I expect that Bush's speech this evening will include a declaration of indefinite postponement of the elections.

Between The Lines: 12:45 EST - The buzz on the Internet is that the attacks upon the City of Boston were an act of brutal manipulation by the Bush Administration aimed at...
San Jose News: 10:00 PST - For the first time in its entire history, the Internet has crashed. A virus was released yesterday. Initially it was thought to be largely benign, but at exactly 10:45 PST the entire Internet came to a halt...
Worcester Telegram: 13:00 EST - The Massachusetts National Guard has declared that it will not follow FEMA's order blocking rescue personnel from entering the Boston area. Road blocks have been lifted and fire departments from across the region are converging on Boston. The state's residents have been gathering in their town centers demanding action by the state to rescue their friends and relatives in the Boston area. The Massachusetts National Guard has asked the National Guards of Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Maine and Connecticut to ignore FEMA's orders and to facilitate the movement of rescue personnel through their states to the Boston area.
Austin Statesman: 12:30 CST - Under the orders of FEMA, the Texas National Guard is being mobilized for deployment in New England. Refusal by the Massachusetts National Guard to follow FEMA's orders blocking rescue personnel from the Boston area, have necessitated the deployment of troops to enforce FEMA's orders. FEMA has stated that rescue personnel may be needed for redirection to Washington D.C. if an attack upon Washington D.C. is realized. All members of the Texas National Guard are ordered to report to their posts immediately.
Portland Press Herald: 13:30 EST - The Maine National Guard and the Vermont National Guard have declared their intent to disobey FEMA orders and assist the people of Massachusetts in their time of need. Massachusetts National Guardsmen are being organized to ensure a corridor through the State of New Hampshire, connecting Massachusetts and Maine. The Massachusetts National Guard, in response to FEMA's mobilization of Texas National Guard deployment in Massachusetts has been met with the avowal of resistance. "Members of the Texas National Guard attempting to deploy in Massachusetts will be shot on sight," an unnamed source in the Massachusetts National Guard stated.
Union Leader: 14:00 EST - Despite initial fears of non-cooperation by the New Hampshire National Guard, the State of New Hampshire confirms that it will not impede the transport of assistance from Maine or Vermont to Massachusetts.
Worcester Telegram: 14:30 EST - Central Massachusetts residents have been gathering together items to provide assistance to residents of Eastern Massachusetts. The Massachusetts National Guard has guaranteed protection of Massachusetts residents against federal troops.
Le Journal de Montreal: 14:45 EST - The Government of the Province of Quebec has pledged its support in assisting the people of Boston during their time of need. The Vermont National Guard is opening the border to Canada to facilitate the movement of rescue teams from Canada into New England. The Federal Government in Washington D.C. has denounced the actions of the Vermont National Guard and has pledged to "restore order." All of the cities in the Province of Quebec have been asked to send all aid they can to Boston.
Worcester Telegram: 15:00 EST - All six New England states have declared their support for the people of Massachusetts, pledging that their National Guards will not enforce FEMA's orders denying aide to the City of Boston. Attempts to contact active military bases in New England have been largely futile. Rumors indicate that federal troops based in New England are caught in an internal struggle between those who believe they should follow FEMA's orders and those who believe it is their moral duty to help the people of Boston. At least one commander, on the promise that his identity would not be revealed, has stated that it is his intent to ignore FEMA's orders. He has also stated that troops from the Texas National Guard, believed to be under mobilization for deployment in New England, would be allowed to land on their bases but would not be permitted to leave the bases.
Miami Herald: 16:00 EST - Unconfirmed rumors indicate that a military vessel with Cuban markings attacked the causeway connecting the Florida Keys to the mainland. No one has been able to gain access to the stretch of the causeway where the attacks are alleged to have occurred. The Pentagon has declared that the attack is an act of war.
FAUX NEWS: 21:00 EST - The President of the United States of America:
"My fellow Americans, I am sure that you are aware that the City of Boston, a cradle of American liberty, was heartlessly attacked by evil doers this morning. Current estimates are that as many as 1,000,000 Americans are dead. Our hearts and prayers go out to the people of Boston and their loved ones.

Our intelligence agencies have concluded that the attack was carried out by the Government of Iran in alliance with North Korea and Cuba. A nuclear device was smuggled into the small nuclear reactor at MIT's campus in Cambridge, MA where it was exploded at 9:00 AM EST.

Our retaliation has been swift. We have taken decisive action against Iran and North Korea. An invasion of Cuba is currently underway. Initial reports indicate strong resistance but we expect to prevail.

As I am sure most of you are aware, we are currently fighting a war against Terrorism and our troops are engaged in Iraq and Afghanistan. These righteous wars of self defense have consumed a large number of our available troops. Under such circumstances, our only available options were nuclear. I gave the order to launch nuclear attacks on Iran and North Korea.

At this time we do not know whether the enemy has positioned other nuclear devices in our nation. Consequently, I have declared martial law. Until further notice, there is a curfew. All Americans must be inside their residences by sunset each evening unless they are considered essential government personnel. Americans disobeying these orders will be shot on sight.

Until we can determine whether other nuclear devices have been planted, I am suspending elections. Democracy requires a fair vote under fair circumstances. The destruction and chaos currently underway in New England makes fair elections impossible. As soon as the situation is stabilized, we will hold our national elections.

Contrary to irresponsible reports from minor news organizations, the National Guards of New England have been cooperating with FEMA's direction. There is no dissention within the National Guards of these states. The federal government is in firm control of the situation.

I ask all Americans to stand by me and put their faith in me. God has chosen us for a mission. Each and everyone of you is part of that mission. Stand firm and have faith. We will prevail."

BBC: 23:00 EST - The first troops of the Texas National Guard arrived at Worcester City Airport today where they were met in overwhelming numbers by armed members of the Massachusetts National Guard. The Massachusetts National Guard declared that the military transport plane would not be allowed to depart the airport. All Texas National Guardsmen on board the craft were ordered to deplane unarmed. Initially they refused. A spokesman for the Massachusetts National Guard was permitted to enter the aircraft to explain to the Texan troops the reason for their decision. After a discussion, approximately half of the Texan troops deplaned and are currently being transported, by bus, to the Canadian border where they will be given a choice to return to Texas or stay in Canada.
Shortly thereafter, the military aircraft was forcefully boarded. Shots were fired and there are reports of casualties on both sides. The Texas Guard members were arrested by the Massachusetts National Guard and are being transported to a state prison.

Worcester Telegram: 9:00 AM (Next Day) - Most leaders of the state government, including the governor, appear to have perished in yesterday's attacks. Authority over state decisions are unclear. The Massachusetts National Guard appears to have taken control of state offices. There are reports of struggles between Massachusetts National Guard troops and Texas National Guard troops. The National Guards of Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Connecticut and Rhode Island have all agreed to impede any attempt by federal troops or guardsmen from non-New England states from entering their borders. There are unconfirmed reports that the State of New York plans on making a declaration of alliance with the New England states.
Under our current state of chaos it is difficult to pin down exactly who was behind yesterday's attacks. The general consensus in New England is that the attack upon Boston was carried out by the Bush Administration in a bid to cancel the elections he was predicted to lose. Residents northwest of Boston report having seen a missile pass overhead, leaving a trail that terminated with the explosion over Cambridge. This contradicts the President's assessment of what happened. Experts in the Massachusetts National Guard report that the explosion's circle of damage cannot be explained by an explosion at ground level. They contend that the explosion occurred at a high altitude. Neither Iran nor North Korea are believed to have weapons capable of reaching Boston.

According to members of the National Guard, there exists a de facto state of war between the federal and state governments.