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Bush Goes To England, Blair Goes To Hell

D Livingstone - A US view | 19.11.2003 19:37 | Anti-militarism

It only gets worse from there. Having evidently mistaken England for Baghdad, or worse, some genuflecting banana republic, the whizzes in charge of Bush's security detail proceeded to issue an absurd set of demands seemingly calculated to infuriate their hosts.



Bush Goes To England, Blair Goes To Hell

By David B. Livingstone, AlterNet
November 18, 2003

As George W. Bush begins his three-day state visit to the United Kingdom, a blatant photo-op oriented around next year's elections, the gaffes have been coming thick and fast. Before Air Force One even left the ground, Bush and his handlers managed to enrage or alienate a substantial portion of the administration he's going to visit.


First, there's the matter of timing. Tony Blair's badly listing ship of state needs a visit from the U.S. president about as much as the Titanic needed a chance encounter with an iceberg. Plummeting in the polls, Blair is fighting for his political life, struggling to stave off the contempt of the Labour party rank and file as well as a newly emboldened Tory party – a set of circumstances directly attributable to his unblinking, servile support of Bush's war on Iraq. The last thing he needs is to be seen on tens of millions of British television screens standing shoulder to shoulder with his unpopular American cousin.


Blair had better hope that he can tread water in quicksand. An informal poll conducted by the Independent newspaper showed popular disapproval of Bush's visit running at 10 to one. A more sensitive American administration might have chosen to steer clear, giving Blair some breathing room and some time to distract his embittered electorate with a renewed emphasis on social and domestic issues. But no: Blair will be forced to state and re-state his support for Bush's Iraq policies as the spectres of David Kelly and 60-odd dead British military personnel swirl around his shoulders.


It only gets worse from there. Having evidently mistaken England for Baghdad, or worse, some genuflecting banana republic, the whizzes in charge of Bush's security detail proceeded to issue an absurd set of demands seemingly calculated to infuriate their hosts.


In the name of Bush's safety, the Secret Service requested that the London Underground, the provider of transportation to millions daily, be closed down. American snipers and special agents traveling with Bush were to be given diplomatic immunity in the event that they should kill any of the expected 100,000 protesters. An artillery weapon called the "mini gun," normally used in battlefield conditions, was to be flown in in case it was deemed necessary to mow down protesters en masse. Vast sections of the city were to be closed to all traffic, forcing the closure of untold hundreds of businesses. Americans were to be placed in charge of all security operations, ahead of the British Scotland Yard, the MI5, the Metropolitan police, and Blair's own security detail. And U.S. fighter jets and Blackhawk attack helicopters, armed with surface-to-ground missiles and high-powered machine guns, were to secure the skies over London. All of this in addition to flying in not only Bush's own presidential limousine, but in fact his own motorcade. No foreign cars for our President – only a custom-imported procession of Humvees would do.


The shock and awe inspired by the administration's chutzpah resulted in a resounding succession of no's from British officials. Even under Blair, Britain was loathe to sacrifice cherished rights such as freedom of speech and assembly for the sake of Bush's photo-op. Subsequent negotiation resulted in a diminished security detail of 700 armed Americans and the establishment of a "sanitary" exclusion zone around Bush being agreed to, but not before the editors of Fleet Street had had the chance to howl in laughter and derision: "Who Invited Him?" read a headline in one of the dailies.


Why would Bush foist himself upon a nation and a Prime Minister who would clearly prefer that he stay at home? Beyond the knowledge that he's politically torpedoing Blair, his only high-profile international ally, the "toxic Texan" (as segments of the British press have come to refer to him) can only expect to be treated to a mass wail of protest from the tens of thousands who plan to topple his papier-mache statue Saddam-style in Trafalgar Square. Perhaps never before in the course of human events has a state visit seemed so like an exercise in public humiliation, for both the host and the guest involved.


David B. Livingstone is a political commentator and arts/culture critic.

D Livingstone - A US view
- Homepage: http://www.alternet.org

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An Open Letter to the British from an American RE: Bush's Visit

19.11.2003 20:11

A friend, Randy, here in the U.S. passed this to me. Since it reflects my feelings and, I'm sure, the feelings of so many of our British friends who were against the Iraq war, I thought I would pass it along. Rest assured, there are many people in America who do not agree with Bush's policies, both here and in the world at large. -- Cheers

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Dear friends,

As an American, I want to wholeheartedly thank you for taking our president,
George W. Bush off our hands for a few days. It is my hope that we can
someday return the favor and give you a break from one of your embarrassing
leaders (don't be ashamed; we all have them from time to time). That being
said, I would like to offer up a few pieces of advice to make the next
few days a little easier; I'm afraid that our president can be a cranky
little fellow (not to mention being few tamales shy of a combo platter, if
you catch my drift), and I would hate to think that some small incident had
landed England on the Axis of Evil, with Mr. Bush trying to liberate the
British people, leading to tanks rolling down Downing Street and your lovely
statue of Lord Nelson being pulled down. So, in the interest of
international peace, I offer these few tips on:

THE CARE AND FEEDING OF GEORGE W. BUSH

First off, don't confuse him with words that we pronounce differently in our
respective nations. You know, words like "schedule" and "aluminium". Mr.
Bush likes to think that he's right about everything, and, as I'm sure
you're aware of by now, you'll never get him to come 'round to your way of
thinking (though, just between us, try and get him to say the word
"constabulary"; I'll just bet it will be very amusing to watch).

While I'm on the subject of Mr. Bush's belief that he's always right, could
you all drive on opposite side of the road than you're used to? I know this
is asking a lot, but it will be a lot less confusing for Mr. Bush and it's
only for a few days.

If Mr. Bush tries to impress you by telling you that he likes the Monkees,
just smile politely; he probably means the Beatles (but on second thought,
I wouldn't bet on it).

It would probably be a good idea not to let the president anywhere near the
Queen's cute little dogs; he has a tendency to drop dogs on their heads.

Please don't show him too much pomp and circumstance. We don't want him to
get used to that sort of thing. We have enough trouble with him putting on
uniforms and parading around on aircraft carriers. And besides we're going
to be paying for that war of his for a long time--there's no money left in
the budget for carriage rides.

As for feeding him, don't go to a lot of trouble; we are after all talking
about a man whose favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and
nachos. Fish and chips will probably do just fine (and it won't hurt to
point out that you've ALWAYS called them chips, and never called them French
fries). Don't let him have any pretzels--there was an incident once, if you
don't know about it, please don't ask; it's rather embarrassing. And for
God's sake, please don't serve him anything called bangers or spotted
dick--we're really trying to break him of that annoying little smirk.

That should get you through the next few days. If however, a sudden tense
moment arises, change the subject by reminding him that you've never gotten
along with the French or the Germans either, or, oh hell, just distract him
with something shiny.

Let me know if there's anything else I can help with.

Your friend across the pond,
Randy Farran

P.S. Again, we really do appreciate the few days off, and if you ever want
to invite Donald Rumsfeld or John Ashcroft over, please feel free (I'd
suggest Vice President Chaney as well, but seeing as how he always seems to
be at an "undisclosed location", for all I know, he may well already be over
there).

Warren Brown