Hi friends,

I have finally lost my arrest vaginity. On Thursday I was arrested for
meditating in a politically sensitive place. The cops were tollerating our
right to protest on the pavement opposite Customs House DLR station which
was perfect because we couldn't see the delegates arriving and they couldn't
see us. Yours Truly thought that we should bring the protest to the people,
as it were, and so, having a perfectly valid travelcard, I wandered up onto
the footbridge at Customs House where the delegates were entering the arms
fair.

The cops seemed to be quite relaxed about my presence, even when I put my
blanket on the floor, sat down, crossed my legs and began to practice
heckling arriving delegates ("Are you a Neoconservative sir?", "Excuse me
Sir, how many babies would I have to kill to get a ticket to DSEi?", etc.).
I also pointed out to one constable that his numbers were not being
displayed and, after a few denials that he was required to display them, he
congratulated me on being observant and stuck his epalettes on the outside
of his jacket where they could bve seen.

I then set about meditating (as I am wont to do) and overheard snatches of
radio traffic regarding my appearance, behaviour and general demeanour. I
also heard someone say "We need someone from DLR to come and ask him to
move". After some time I heard "Excuse me, Sir" and opened my eyes to see
myself surrounded by cops and confronted by a uniformed official from DLR (I
seem to recall that his name was P Salmon but couldn't swear to that) who
asked me to leave. I asked him what authority he had to request that I
leave and he replied that he had authority to ask anyone to leave DLR
property without giving any reason. I suggested that if he would quote me
the Act or Bylaw that gave him such power then I would comply.

At this point a tall, black police inspector (Inspector North according to
later enquiries) interrupted to say "I'll tell you what law. You are
trespassing." I interjected that, as far as I could recall, trespass is a
civil offence and it was, thus, none of his business. Inspector North then
said "You have been asked to leave by a member of DLR and you have not
complied and that changes it to an offence of Aggravated Trespass, if you do
not leave you will be arrested for aggravated trespass." I countered that
as far as I was aware an offence of aggravated trespass required that I was
trespassing in the open air, not on a road or public highway, in such a
manner that it prevented someone going about their lawful business and that
if he genuinely believed that he could win a case of aggravated trespass in
the court he should, by all means, arrest me. Which is what happened. Or,
rather, it was not he who arrested me by a very pissed-off PC who was
shortly to be going off shift and wasn't looking forward to the delay.

So I was carted off to Charing X nick and processed. They asked me to pose
for a photo with the arresting officer. I asked if the photo opportunity
had been approved by an inspector and was told "No, but I can get an
inspector to approve it.". I said not to bother and asked the arresting
officer (po-faced PC 4214 Awoyomi) if we should put our arms around each
other for the photo, which produced a hearty laugh from all present (except
from Awoyomi, who's laugh might more accurately be described as 'hollow').

I did my best to strike a balance with the custody sergeant; giving my name
and address, conceding my date of birth, consenting to have my height marked
off but politely requesting that he enter "refused to sign" next to all the
fields on his form that canvassed my autograph. And was locked in a cell.

After a few hours, while the BTP CID officers grilled Awoyomi and researched
arcane legal arguments I was brought from the cell and informed that I would
be charged. Not with Aggravated Trespass but that "ON 11 SEPTEMBER 2003 AT
CUSTOM HOUSE DOCKLAND LIGHT RAILWAY STATION, WILFULLY TRESPASSED ON PREMISES
CONNECTED WITH THE RAILWAY, BELONGING TO DOCKLANDS LIGHT RAILWAY COMPANY AND
REFUSED TO QUIT THE SAME UPON A REQUEST MADE TO YOU FOR THAT PURPOSE BY AN
OFFICER NAMELY PC 4214 AWOYOMI (BTP). CONTRARY TO (wait for it...)
SECTION 16 OF THE RAILWAY REGULATION ACT 1840!!!!!

So that was my "Alice's Restaurant, Massacree" with four part harmony and
feeling. I hope you enjoyed it.

I am supposed to appear in Stratford Magistrate's Court at 10am on Sept
23rd, where I will be entering a plea of "You must be fuckin' jokin', police
harassment, and despair for the future of human rights in this country."