This man Arafat has never reccomended bombing the United States as far as I know. His skillfull use of posing for pictures is more useful for communicating than a press conference with Ari Fliescher.

Geraldo Rivera said the US military will try biulding a bridge and using a radio station in Afghanistan. Please see Pacifica Radio network and Al-Jazeera for protocols. Fox news will get you killed.

The Afghanistan puppet leader has partially legalized the internet and outlawed guns in a neighborhood where Geraldo has reported that you need one. Geraldo was shown protected by the US military.

Other troops in the Middle East will continue training.

Fox news announced plans to bomb North Korea in an unprovoked threat to world security.

MAYDAY is the day Bush will form CIA-FBI to deport US voters including the mothers of US military service persons.

The "real IRA" left a bomb ticking for the British army in a peaceful diplomatic threat and civil defense drill. If they meant any harm the detonator would not have been timed.

Bush's exact geographic location on Sunday will be out of range of North Korean missles, however the roadmap may offer hope.

Bush is not expected to part the Atlantic, biuld a bridge, or anything but a "roadmap might help". Start here. Rewards for Justice dot net pays 25 million dollars for information leading to the arrest and conviction of terrorists. An unnamed Dictator can make this crime a misdemeanor and a GAME SHOW. Some one in that country, the "mastermind", offers to safely deliver a grenade to Tony Blair, or some other ingenious plan. Pin a note to it telling him if he blows himself up you will shoot yourself. Then sell a commodity on the Iraqi stock market. Offer to pay shares of the reward when delivered to the "master-rat". The one who gives the grenade shares the reward with a freind, the "master-rat". Chances are Tony won't blow himself up and the reward can be claimed. The "mastermind" serves time for a misdemeanor. The closer you get to pulling it off the more valuable the commodity is. Millions of perpetrators may want to turn themselves in for a share. Skillfull media manipulation can be used to hide the show from Bush and sell it on Al-Jazeera network. Profits can be shared in the event that contestants want to call the whole thing a hoax, thereby preventing a terrorist attack. Just pretend to do it, put it in the media and collect the earnings.

Or start here. What are my tanks doing on the Egyptian border? MOVE THOSE TANKS OUT OF THERE IMMEDIATELY AND RETURN TO US.

Either of the above plans will work, trust me, and be careful.

There are only two things wrong with Bush's first peace plan. Peace isn't on a road map. Roads have limited usefullness on ISLANDS like the Azores.

A "Quagmire isn't a Quagmire until some one gets HURT"

by Albert Kada
Independent Terrorist Journalist
Special Agent CIA-A-1
World's only publisher of computer viruses besides Microsoft.
Stolen from the unpublished newspaper "The American Blasphemer" please copy