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BILL GATES MIGRATES

Albert Kada | 11.02.2003 07:16

If I were Bill Gates I would buy Terrorism Insurance, you heard right folks, terrorism insurance on the 9 per cent of the Four Seasons hotels he enjoys staying in while migrating to future independence day celebrations and explosive conventions.

Terrorism insurance is a new invention of course.

Two years ago you couldn't get terrorism insurance from Loyd's of London without holding a gun to Loyd's head unless you made him walk the plank naked over a pirahna pool.

President Bush proposed that taxpayers put up the catastrophic losses that MIGHT happen to the idiot who sells this policy. Bush has not claimed to be a qualified insurance salesman.

The proffessional underwriters that are pulling this off will surely go down in the history books. War insurance would be a better idea, but deep in the realm of stupid.

However considering the caliber of the guns that are pointed at the head of the world by Bush perhaps a little insurance, a soft target, a letter to your senator, and boom, you got yourself a profit.

That's been the trouble on Wall Street for a while.

No one knows how to make money off bank robbery and aviation disaster. They have all been trained for fraud and insider trading. But most crippling is the whole country isn't used to being told what to do by the president. This economic Hitler has defined investor holocaust.

This does not neccessarily hurt people with foreign bank accounts.

Perhaps the whole world will invest in real estate, terrorism insurance, and political contributions to a presidential candidate that wants to LEGALIZE TERRORISM ON INDEPENDANCE DAY AS LONG AS NO ONE GETS HURT.

Tom Ridge sent me a letter today warning me to check my neigbors out and see if they were terrorists. When are they gonna check out my senators?

Bush's job creation effort de jour was to suggest we all become television preachers. Those of us who arn't already police and activated military reservists.

But Jerry Falwell and the 700 club need funding considering the gross inaccuracies of their prophecies lately. Those time lines are looking a little twisted there. I suggest an eraser.

I wish Bill Gates good luck in the hotel business though and if the orange juice isn't cold enough just show the staff this article and tell them your going to schedule a sustainable living convention there on the 4th of July.

by Albert Kada
Independent Terrorist Journalist
Special Agent CIA-A-1
World's only publisher of computer viruses besides Microsoft.
Stolen from the unpublished newspaper "The American Blasphemer"

Albert Kada
- e-mail: davecom@io.com
- Homepage: http://www.io.com/~davecom/