BLAIR LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE!
CHERIE BLAIR , RASPUTIN AND AUSSIE CROOK IN BRISTOL PROPERTY CORRUPTION SCANDAL! PRIME MINISTER'S WIFE HAS LIED AND LIED AGAIN ABOUT BRISTOL PROPERTY DEAL!
BLAIR'S RUSHED VISIT TO BRISTOL TO "SQUARE" STORY WITH EUAN! TORY BLAIR SPLASHES £600,000 ON CITY YUPPIE FLATS - SO THAT'S WHAT HE MEANS BY "AFFORDABLE HOUSING" !! For 18 months now the Bristolian has been a lone voice in exposing the facts that the corrupt relationships between the City Council, property development sharks and government quangos go to the heart of the New Labour government. Now finally the corruption and double dealing at the centre of New Labour's rule in Bristol has hit the national headlines. The Bristolian can exclusively reveal that Cherie Blair has repeatedly lied about the nature of her property deals in Bristol and the Downing Street spin machine has regurgitated those lies all week. HERE ARE THE SHOCKING FACTS YOU WILL READ NOWHERE ELSE: The Blairs have bought two £295,000 flats at Edward Ware's 'Panoramic' development on Park Row. One is for son Euan to live in from next September and is to be rented out in the meantime. The other is purely an investment property to be rented out at a profit (Tony and Cherie obviously finding it difficult to live on their pitiful salaries without dipping into property speculation). Property lettings shark TERRY OLPIN who has also bought a flat at the Panoramic reckons to make a profit of £1,000 a week from his investment so the Blair's may just struggle by!!! To attempt to do the rotten deal in secret Cherie Blair enlisted the help of her "personal lifestyle consultant" the bonkers CAROLE CAPLIN. At the court of New Labour Caplin is called RASPUTIN because of the sinister hold she has over Cherie including advising her on diet, fashion and her sex life. Caplin is a serial nutter who was previously a member of the mind-control cult EXEGESIS and who's mother advises Cherie on how to communicate with the dead (pillow talk with hubby presumably) and "talk to precious rocks with occult powers". We kid you not! The Bristolian can exclusively reveal that thanks to Caplin, the Prime Minister of Great Britain and his wife - a High Court Judge - were recently to be found naked on a remote Mexican beach "rebirthing" - smeared with soft exotic fruits and howling into the night sky like wolves in order to "purge their souls". Again we kid you not! It seems nothing has changed at the heart of New Labour since Peter Mandelson's ritual dance with a sacrificed chicken in Brazil!! (Some other time dear readers!) Rasputin's mother - the equally bonkers Sylvia - has begun acting as Cherie's medium to the "other side" and recently responded to a ten page fax from Cherie on how to communicate with the dead! Hey don't worry readers - these people are only running the country! But we digress! So Cherie asked Caplin to find two suitable investment properties in Bristol and to secretly conduct their purchase. Caplin enlisted the aid of her three times convicted criminal con-man awaiting extradition from Britain boyfriend Peter Foster to view the flats and make the purchases. Cherie was then in direct contact with Foster and approved his involvement. Going so far as to e-mail him with gushing thanks as "you're a star Peter". Caplin and Foster arranged to have lunch with Euan Blair in Bristol but Euan was hungover and failed to make the appointment. Foster found two suitable investment flats at The Panoramic and proceeded to try and get their price knocked down, with Cherie's enthusiastic approval, in negotiations with developers Edward Ware Homes. Eventually, after trading on how prestigious it would be for the Panoramic to house the Blair son, he got the price knocked down to £269,000 each from £295,000 each - saving the hard up Blairs over £50,000. The sales then were completed.

Then news of Con-man Foster's involvement leaked out. Cherie Blair flatly denied that Foster had any involvement in the sale. In fact she lied repeatedly. She is a high court judge so presumably should understand the concept of "telling the truth". Her lies were so heartfelt that the Downing Street spin machine managed to convince the rest of the media to keep quiet about the story stating they were Foster's con-man fantasies. On Thursday detailed e-mails from Cherie to Foster came to light clearly detailing his part in the purchases of the flats. Cherie was forced to grovellingly apologise and the Downing Street spin machine went into full retreat. Yes the Foster story was true and yes Cherie had misled them. They hoped to draw a line under the affair. But the Bristolian can exclusively reveal that the Prime Minister's wife is still lying through her teeth about Foster's involvement. She stated he had only been involved for "a couple of weeks" but e-mails shown to the Bristolian show that she had communicated with him for six weeks at least!

Foster also offered the services of his own accountant to arrange the mortgage. This was accepted by Cherie. The accountant's services came to £4,000 which Foster apparently paid - but with who's money? Foster then found a letting agent, David Lewis, to rent out the flats for Cherie. He boasted in an e-mail to Cherie that he had even persuaded the letting agent to reduce his normal fee! Again Cherie responded by saying what a "star" Foster was yet only a few days later she had totally "forgotten" that he had any involvement at all!! Foster then boasted he had found a possible tenant - a visiting professor at Bristol University - who would be willing to take on a two year lease giving the Blair's an income from the one flat of £30,000. Cherie again approved the arrangement with Foster. Cherie Blair has lied repeatedly. It is inconceivable that she did not discuss these matters with her husband. Blair has colluded with these lies. Time to go Tony!

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PANORAMIC NOT SELLING SHOCK!

The irony of the situation is that it would not have taken a con-man to get a price reduction on the Edward Ware development. Flats at the Panoramic have just not been selling and the developers are desperate for a quick deal before the property market goes belly -up. Besides the Blair's two empty flats there are currently no less than FIVE other apartments at the Panoramic lying empty as investment buyers struggle to find tenants at over £1,000 a month. This led Foster to suggest to Cherie that any tenant be given a free three month "rent holiday" in order to let her flat out before the others. Again Cherie eagerly agreed.

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BLAIR'S RUSH TO EUAN LAST WEEK

Tony Blair visited Bristol last Thursday and Friday to square up his and Cherie's version of events with son Euan. Tony and Euan dined at the River Station restaurant on Thursday night where staff and diners reported they were engaged in hushed and earnest conversation over cupped hands. They later went back to Blair's hotel to get their stories right. Despite having forked out £600,000 Blair himself has not even bothered to view the Panoramic flats.

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YUPPIE FLAT RAT HORROR!

Crosby Homes Capricorn Quay - formerly Limekiln Dock at bottom of Jacobs Well Road - is infested with rats in the underneath car parks which are getting into some of the yuppie flats! Looking for suitable company no doubt!

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BRISTOL - A PROPERTY SHARK'S DREAM

The selling off of huge chunks of Bristol to corporate investors in order to "regenerate" the City is the city council's cornerstone policy. That is why investors from the Saudi Royal Family to Tory Blair to Land Securities to Crest Nicholson are flocking to the city. Bonkers Bunyan and Co. will do anything to provide favourable financial conditions for these speculative investors. In reality this means that Bristolians are being forced out of their own city by the lack of any new affordable housing. To get a mortgage for one of Blair's flats you'd need an income of £80,000 a year. There is now no affordable housing anywhere near the city centre and the Broadmead, Harbourside, Redcliff Village and Courage Brewery developments will make the situation even worse. Bristolians are being ethnically cleansed from their own city while we have the obscenity of our own Labour Prime Minister snapping up a couple of luxury flats as speculative investments without even looking at them. New Labour's Bristol is a nightmare for Bristolians who don't figure in Bonkers and Co's vision for the shiny future. "Affordable Housing" versus "Yuppie Developments" will be the key factor in next May's council elections. "Vote Bristolian" or "Vote Bonkers and Co" WE WANT OUR CITY BACK!

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FANCY DAN AND THE FOOTIE FAN!

Tory Blair was given a fitting Bristolian welcome outside the Council House on Thursday night by Bristolian readers and the fighting Firefighters with their hooting klaxons. New Labour Project Blairite wet-dream Clone - otherwise known as DAN NORRIS MP for Wansdyke - was attempting to continue his anti- firefighter spin garbage with the local media when he got panicked by the hooting klaxons. "Shaun"' shouts an agitated Norris "Shaun - there's trouble over here" and summons his "minder". Well, well - who should hove into view but SHAUN PARKER - last seen in his role as community development worker at Bristol City Football Club - and not noted for his interest in politics. Shiny suited, badged and crombied Shaun Parker is now a New Labour Project man working in Fancy Dan's office in London. "But you're not interested in politics Shaun" gasped a Bristolian footie fan. "It's just a career" replied shamefaced Shaun as Norris fumed. And doesn't that just sum up the New Labour Project. A movement that started out to change society for the better for millions of working class people is now just a career opportunity for the shiny suits like Norris and Parker. Sad aint it!

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STOP PRESS: BRISTOLIAN EXCLUSIVE! MORE BLAIR LIES HORROR!
CHERIE COMPLETELY GOO-GOO-GAGGA BONKERS!

ANDREW AXELSEN the accountant who arranged the Blair's mortgages on the Panoramic flats is awaiting trial at The Old Bailey on Fraud charges! Those dealing with the sale for Edward Ware Homes were TRACEY YEO, SAM CLEVERLY and ELI BARBER. Foster originally approached them with the proposal to buy FOUR flats at the Panoramic. This turned out to be a lie - merely a simple strategy to get a bulk buy price reduction. Once he had an agreement to lower the price he pulled out of the offers on the other two flats. Was Cherie Blair aware of Foster's less than honest strategy to get her much sought after price reduction? Carole Caplin - RASPUTIN - is in the habit of giving Tony Blair "massages" and "rub-downs" at No. 10 Downing Street. Blair recommended her to Bill Clinton who was staying at Chequers in the summer. Rasputin arrived in a skin-tight black catsuit to give Clinton a "rub down"!!! While attending the Labour Party conference in Blackpool Clinton was heard to say to an aide "I wish I could have Carole again". Rasputin advises Adams Family look-a-like Cherie on "when to have sex". So our Prime Minister's sex life is controlled by a mind- bending gold digger with a criminal fraudster boyfriend! It is even thought that Caplin advised Cherie that the "omens were right" for her to start a second family resulting in Baby Leo! Presumably Cherie now studies sheeps entrails before letting Tony get his legover . or maybe during it!!

Blair Bristolian Comment:
It is obscenity enough that Tony Blair buys two luxury flats in Bristol for over half a million pounds at the same time as he denies the Firefighters a wage of £8.50 an hour, and recommends top-up fees for students. It is even more of an obscenity that Bristol's New Labour Council has created the climate where any housing in the City Centre is seen merely as an investment opportunity for corporations and con-men, rather than providing affordable housing for Bristolians. New Labour/Old Tory - spot the difference. The irony is that Blair has bought a dud. There is already an overload of luxury "invest to rent" accommodation in the city, even before Bonkers and Co proceed with their next gentrifying ethnic cleansing of Bristolians. Very soon we'll have a ghost city of Quays, Keg Stores, Panoramics, Admirals Walks and Mewses populated only by desperate letting agents offering cut price deals to the New Labour mafia. For Bristol's New Labour rulers, Blair's Panoramic purchase may prove more costly than they yet imagine.

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Dear Bristolian

"Dear Bristolian
During an interview on Susan Osman's show on Radio Bristol this week with Tory sexist homophobic racist little runt Jim Davidson, I was a tad alarmed to hear him defending the convicted paedophile Gary Glitter, who had, Jim claimed, always been a good friend of his. He then went on to praise Glitter while Osman was noticeably silent. Considering that Jim was on the radio to promote this season's "Family Pantomime" at the Hippodrome I find it alarming that someone who defends paedophiles should be taking part in "family entertainment". I suggest that anyone who has tickets for the show demands their money back.
Yours, Maggie Wilson."

"Dear Bristolian,
What is it with SOMV, Colston and human relics? In a cabinet at the SOMV endowed Colston Grammar School is a lock of cricketer Chris Broad's hair. Broad went to the school. However I recall Broad's flowing locks to be blond whereas the hair is black and curly. Are the impressionable adolescents at the school being forced to gawp daily at Broad's pubic hair? I think we should be told!
Old Colstonian"

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HOUSING BENEFIT - AN APOLOGY

We at the Bristolian have to offer all our loyal readers an apology for the Housing Benefit story in issue 66. We sincerely apologise - WE DIDN'T GO FAR ENOUGH!! We told you that discredited head housing honcho SHIRLEY SANCHEZ had been set aside to "run another project". Well we can now exclusively reveal that the Shiny Bloused One has actually been placed on "GARDENING LEAVE'!!! So while workers of the housing department have to deal with her enduring legacy she's lounging around her Sadly Broke home, ON FULL PAY, waiting for the heat to die down. You couldn't make it up! But that's not all. We can also reveal that when the Shiny Blouse's post was advertised they offered it to a "suitable" candidate who turned it down. Wendy Murphy, Director of Housing, then had to pick from a list of "Unsuitable Candidates" to fill the post as quickly as possible. And she really did pick the most unsuitable candidate!!! Rumour has it that the shimmering Shirted One was similarly unsuccessful during her time at South Oxfordshire District Council. We also told you about the department's PO Box which is overflowing with post. However we failed to tell you that when the housing department first moved, thousands of letterheads were printed with the wrong PO Box number! Therefore thousands of letters were flowing into PO Box 42 - the PO Box of . wait for it .. .BRISTOL ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS!! We know that waiting for the "restructured" Housing Department to deal with your claim can lead you to drink but this is ridiculous!!!

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COUNCIL TAX SET FOR BIG RISE

Bonkers Bunyan was forced to admit this week that council tax payers in Bristol are faced with a big rise next year along with a huge slashing of essential services. In Bonkers and Co's weird and disconnected world this counts as a "success". Bills for an average Band D property could go up by £50. Bonkers herself said "Early indications are that it could lead to a substantial increase in council tax next year together with some cuts in services". Brilliant. Maybe New Labour's election slogan could be: "PAY MORE - GET LESS".

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DON'T LET THE DEVELOPERS DESTROY OUR COMMUNITY. MARCH AND PROTEST - TO COUNCIL PLANNING MEETING THURSDAY 19TH DECEMBER

MEET 4PM GROSVENOR ROAD GREEN (SUSSEX PLACE/ASHLEY RD)
OR 4.45PM FOR 5PM COUNCIL HOUSE, COLLEGE GREEN

Another shopping mall - just what we need. Plus yet more yuppy flats and offices. The Broadmead Expansion Plan will be eight times the size of IKEA - just think what that will do to traffic, congestion and pollution along the M32 corridor and central Bristol. The Broadmead Plan will speed up the "gentrification" of St Pauls and surrounding areas. This will drive up rents and house prices forcing local people out of the area.
For more info about the campaign phone 0779 092 9708
Make your views known to the Councillors on the Planning Committee
peter_abraham@bristol-city.gov.uk
kelvin_blake@bristol-city.gov.uk
rosalie_brown@bristol-city.gov.uk
peter_crispin@bristol-city.gov.uk
barry_dodd@bristol-city.gov.uk
david_kitson@bristol-city.gov.uk
charles_price@bristol-city.gov.uk
richard_pyle@bristol-city.gov.uk
dudley_saward@bristol-city.gov.uk
matthew_symonds@bristol-city.gov.uk
jim_white@bristol-city.gov.uk

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Bristolian Xmas Pressie Idea

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