The new branch of the snooty Edinburgh department store Jenners is due to open on Thursday, and to celebrate they are throwing a champagne party, nearly all of it paid for by the taxpayers!

Scottish Enterprise, The Scotsman newspaper (18/9/2, p8) reports, has lavished £130,000 on the opening bash. (All part of its bid to help Scotland's struggling economy, no doubt - with West Dunbartonshire having one of the highest rates of unemployment in Britain, we really need more champagne parties.)

Only 2,000 people have been invited, but since we've all helped pay for it, there should be nothing to stop us going along - we are the hosts, after all.

Jenners is at the new Loch Lomond Shores tourist development near Balloch, Dunbartonshire. Anyone in the area should go along and join in the fun!