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Challenging Times for Tony

Courier Pigeon | 13.09.2002 15:31

Addressing his Sedgefield Constituency, Prime Minister Tony Blair said "great challenges lie ahead." And here is the first...

Because Tony Blair considers himself courageous
enough to send other men into a killing zone to fight
and die for him, I surmise that he at least has the guts
to take me on in a bare-knuckle fist fight. That is why
I have written and dispatched (today, 13 September)
both a personal letter to Tony Blair and an open letter
to seven London newspapers in which I invoke the
ancient English custom of "Impugning Honour With
An Offer Of Redress."

The text below is self explanatory. I doubt, however,
that the British press will publish the open letter, knowing
that I could attract widespread curiosity and support in
my invocation of this time-honoured custom, exposing
Blair's cowardice and hypocrisy. That's why I have to
put these letters out on the net - otherwise they lose
their meaning.

And you never know. He may pick up the gauntlet.

Text for both letters follows:

Open Letter To Tony Blair In Which I Impugn His
Honour And Challenge Him To Defend His Manhood
From Charges of Cowardice By Engaging Me In
A Bare-Knuckle Fist Fight

Gentlemen of the press, my fellow citizens,

I hereby give public notice that I, Michael James, a 42
year-old British subject-citizen of sound mind and judgement,
resident in the Republic of Germany, invoke the gentlemanly
tradition of impugning honour with an offer of redress, and
do thereby formally challenge one TONY BLAIR, a prime
minister, to defend his honour and test the courage of his
own convictions in regard to his advocacy of violence to
settle arguments with other countries by engaging me in a
bare-knuckle fist fight at a time and venue to be agreed
mutually, according to the rules of ancient custom.

I openly and publicly IMPUGN THE HONOUR
of TONY BLAIR by charging that he is:

A COWARD who manipulates other men to do his
fighting for him

A COWARD who enjoins other men to do violence yet
is himself a conniving, effeminate poltroon

A COWARD and a hypocrite who claims to follow the
way of Jesus Christ, yet seeks, in direct violation of
the laws of God and the teachings of Christ, to kill other
men and to steal their land and natural resources

A COWARD and a moral weakling who is susceptible to the
influence of deranged and intellectually retarded superiors

A COWARD and a traitor who is willing to betray his fellow
countrymen in satisfying the vanities of his own nefarious
ego

A COWARD who lies to procure wars for oil and
geopolitical advantage

A COWARD who sanctioned war crimes in the former
Yugoslav Republic by authorizing the Royal Air Force to
unleash cancer-causing uranium-depleted bombs on
soldiers, women and children

A COWARD who played an executive role in the
massacre of over 400 prisoners of war at Nazar-i-Sharif,
during which 40-60 unarmed men were tortured and
shot in the back of the head by his SAS operatives
and allied CIA agents

A COWARD who is fully complicit in obtaining the deaths
of half a million Iraqi children by sabotaging the distribution of life-saving medicines to treat diseases caused by British and American blockades and uranium-depleted bombs, and who deceives the world by contriving to lay the blame for that tragedy on the sovereign leader of that self-same sovereign nation

I, Michael James, give reasonable notice that, unless
TONY BLAIR takes up, WITHIN 28 DAYS as from 15 September 2002, my challenge to a bare-knuckle fist fight in which he has occasion to defend his honour and his manhood against the aforementioned charges, all good citizens of sound mind should consider him to have FULLY-ACCEPTED those CHARGES OF
COWARDICE.

Yours Sincerely,

Michael James.
13 September 2002.

Ober-Erlenbacher-Strasse 30
61381 Friedrichsdorf
Republic of Germany
Tel. 0049 (0)6007 930115

Courier Pigeon

Comments

Display the following 3 comments

  1. Dear Mr James — jackslucid
  2. Anyone like to make a wager on the outcome? — Rocky
  3. This is great — Nick