Where is Osama bin Laden? He and President Bush may seem like mortal enemies, but it’s all a cover! Actually, they are corporate partners. I mean, did anyone notice that whenever Bush went into the bunker, Mr. Laden resurfaced? Or that when Osama vanished, the president took the spotlight?
  Early on, President Bush said he wanted this big cheese terrorist, dead or alive. But then, somehow Osama bin Laden “escaped” Tora Bora with his dialysis machine tied to the camel behind him. Right? Wrong. While his fighters were distracted, US Special Ops got him out on a helicopter. He was flown into Pakistan, where he met with Musharraf, and Bush, along with their CEO, Omar, over a fig dinner. They hooked up via satellite with Hussein of Iraq, and Prime Minister Blair of England. The agenda? They discussed the matter of Monopolizing Profits on the Global War against Terrorism, and why tea drinkers throughout the Middle East are improbable prospects for Coca Cola sales.
  Where did I learn all this? On the Internet of course! It was late, and I was a little bored in need of some good entertainment. I met this guy who went by “·/|/|·,” on an Internet newsgroup. He said he knew all about the Bush/bin Laden partnership. “·/|/|·” said he was sitting on a couch at Hussein’s palace, watching Friends, when the TV switched to the live Satellite feed. “Imagine if you can,” he wrote, “seeing Bush sitting beside Bin Laden, and I’m listening in as the king says, ‘Don’t worry, Mr. President, all we must do is tell the foolish masses that Coca Cola is a tea made from the Coca leaf, and I assure you, they will buy it!’”
  ·/|/|· learned the details of the Bush/bin Laden partnership. He said when the US forces assisted the Afghan fighters back in the 80’s, to overthrow the then-Soviets, the then-President Bush, Sr. offered Mr. Laden a proposal, at his home in Saudi Arabia. “You see, Mr. Laden sympathized with the Afghan freedom fighters—the Afghan Mujahadeen (holy warriors). So an emissary from your president (along with emissaries from the United Kingdom, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and China), seeing how this rich engineer might fit into the Big Plan, tells him, ‘You go in there, we’ll protect you. Whatever you bring into the deal, we’ll match it DOLLAR FOR DOLLAR’.”
  Mr. Laden shed his suit and tie, and voilla! Osama bin Laden! Phase two of the Big Plan had begun. The US trained his troops, provided weapons while bin Laden built roads and warehoused munitions in caves. “And as we now know,” said ·/|/|·, “the Mujahadeen beat the Soviets out of Afghanistan, and taking power, they came to be known later as the Taliban.”
  According to ·/|/|·, phase two was a little more complicated. “Now the heads of all those states, like the US, Britain and China, funneled more money in, and gave passage to more Saudi’s into Afghanistan. They continued training them, this time, to blow up embassies, things like this. And the trick was now, to call them ‘terrorists.’” Once again, bin Laden led the venture with the understanding, EVERY DOLLAR IS MATCHED FOR DOLLAR AND THEN SOME.
  “What was needed was a patsy. Saddam Hussein agreed to play this role, a way, you see, to keep a Western educated man without much to do about Islam, in power. Give him a war! So he invaded Kuwait. The US president won this war, gained new oil accounts, and Saddam? He was not pursued. He not only saved face, but the dumb masses called him a hero! Why, but unless he were a part of the Big Plan?
  "But there was a totally unforeseen event. Clinton, the kind of guy who is more concerned about global justice than padding the pockets of the world elite—won the election. He had to go! What is the weakness of every do-gooder liberal minded man? Women! So Monica was planted along with a special, pink dress.
  “When that didn’t get him out, Bush’s brother did, by turning away tens of thousands of black voters in the state of Florida. And what do they matter in the larger picture, anyway? This is the Big Plan of the Free Masons and the rest of the world elite! No sooner than does the younger Bush buy the presidency of the US, does Phase three begin. Bush’s young Saudi’s are ready! They invade Manhattan and the Pentagon. Does anyone think it mere chance that they chose to hit the side of Pentagon no one was using? No loss there!”
  Little by little, the Big Plan would unravel. Nearly one year after the “invasion,” people would discover that the CIA knew what was in the works, and learn that the president was regularly briefed about it!
  ““You might as well know,” ·/|/|· continued, “all the players, including Putin, Blair, Hussein and of course, the Bush dynasty, used 9/11 to consolidate their empire. You see, every Jihad is a capitalist’s dream!”
  “And for you in America? While the threats of Jihad’s mount, and false alarms are sounded, one after another, the stupid Americans will never see that it is THEY who are being treated like terrorists, as they are wiretapped and scanned, made to take their shoes off at airports while the rich are quietly escorted to the front of the lines.”
  “My god,” I wrote, frantically, “Clinton’s vast Republican conspiracy is like nothing beside the lay of this one.”
  “That was just a side show,” replied ·/|/|·. “And do you want to know where bin Laden is?”
  “Yes.”
  “After he was air lifted out of Tora Bora and given safe passage to Pakistan, he went on retreats to the Sudan and Somalia, courtesy of the US taxpayer. I have also heard that for awhile he was given sanctuary at the White House, and he slept regularly in the Lincoln Bedroom.” At this point, ·/|/|· left me with a :). And I went to bed. You don’t believe it? You had better, because I found it on the Internet!

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