MP3 of Chumbawamba’s anti-royalist rant/chant/tune “Her Majesty” at:

 http://www.chumbawamba.tv/media/CW-Her_Majesty.mp3





WE MEAN IT MA’AM

It’s Jubilee year and a few of us are casting about wondering how to react to it all, what to do, what to say. We ask around. Some people tell us that they won’t be getting involved in any anti-Jubilee celebrations:

It isn’t worth it

No-one cares enough about Royalty nowadays anyway

I’m just going to ignore it


No. I firmly believe that, come the middle of May, the media will crank up the Monarchy Machine and we’ll all be dragged along like carrier bags stuck to the back of a gilded carriage, pummelled and twisted by Royalist fervour. Coincidence has England playing in the World Cup during Jubilee weekend. And coincidence has the Queen Mum popping her clogs a neat couple of months in advance of the date. See how quickly they turned us into a nation of teary-eyed Loyalists when the old dear finally, atlonglastingly, kicked the gold-plated bucket?

The Queen Mother, she was a right Royal treasure. Heart of the nation, etc. Or just a daft old bat shrivelling into moon-sized hats and waving limply at the commoners? Oh, we can cynically sneer, but when it comes to the crunch we all bow down and grovel - here are two pieces from the same author, Anthony Holden, written before and after the death of the Queen Mum:

“She is the most spoilt and selfish royal of modern times, a woman who had never done a day’s work in her life, who had blithely run up eight-figure overdrafts of the taxpayers’ money on racehorses, had four palatial residences, 50 full-time servants and the pampered life of a latter-day Marie Antoinette.”
(Anthony Holden, The Observer, July 2000)

“She had come to symbolise the values of an era which still holds a strong emotional appeal to many Britons: an era of patriotism and ‘the proper thing’, of conservative values and churchgoing morals, of canasta and charades and country walks... an era in which the monarchy represented Christian family values, and was loved by its people without qualification.”
(Anthony Holden, The Daily Express, April 2002)

How those coats turn! The Queen Mother had £53.5 million in private wealth, including jewellery worth £16.5 million. Yet she still took almost £700,000 every year from the taxpayers as well as £143,000 ‘expenses’ for trips between her huge residences. And then I’m expected to stand up at the football ground and give the woman two minutes of my silence!

The Queen’s Golden Jubilee is nowt but a flag-waving reminder of our place in the hierarchy. A repeated ritual of humility and subservience. And believe me, it’ll swamp this whole country. The BNP are standing 19 candidates in Burnley’s local elections and they’re looking forward to a long hot summer of lobster-pink arms and union jack shorts. Conservative values and ‘the proper thing’ - racism, bigotry and ignorance. Meanwhile, the Queen is a wax-figure dupe smiling regally (how else can she smile?) above a land of dopes and Tories: she has a personal wealth of over £1 billion. She owns jewels worth £72 million, property worth £61 million, cars worth £7.1 million and horses worth £3.6 million. Britain has again recorded the worst child poverty rate in Europe, but the Queen has furs worth £1 million.

It’s more than figures which irk me though. More than the £11 million or so which the taxpayer gives to Her Royal Majesty every year to run her palaces and cars and planes. It’s the tradition of our bowing and scraping and doffing our caps. The symbolism of us all having our street parties and stitching up our home-made bunting to honour this filthy rich woman born into a life of luxury. The irony of the Jubilee’s unashamed patriotism neatly complementing the fashionable racism championed by Le Pen, by Heider, by the BNP.

And this is why openly voicing opposition to the Queen’s Golden Jubilee is worth it. This is why I do care about it. And this is why I’m not going to ignore it.


Chumbawamba