At 3:15pm today, after repeatedly stated that their was no call for alarm or panic at reports of a fire at the Sellafield nuclear reprocessing plant the Irish Ministry of Disaster admited that yes there was call for alarm and panic..........

Ferreting away all the mainstream political party leaders and captains of Industry to a secret underground bunker, and providing champagne and smoked salmon, the ministry then went and actived their emergerncy plan to evacuate the public....

This complex plan devised by our Minister Joe Jacobs helped insure maximum casualties and minimum fuss.

Lead by boiler suited trained emergency response staff, the crowd of 250 people swarmed through busy Dublin streets.

Klaxons blaring and sirens screaming they spread fear and confusion showing us the deadly panic that ensures post meltdown.

Bodybags were thoughtfully provided by the emergency staff, and people helfully climbed inside and died.

Gardaí staff well trained in handling these crises; looked on confused and bemused unsure how to react to the disaster unfolding, eventually closing the streets to allow the mass evaction to reach it's final destination, Dáil Eireann....

There led by our fearless leaders and obeying the well thought out Government Emergency plan everyone fell down overcome by radiation sickness and died.

8den