YEAR 2002

WOODY HARRELSON
HOLLYWOOD, CA

DEAR DADDY,

ZOE AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE ARE OKAY IN HERE. THE OTHER KIDS ARE PRETTY NICE BUT THEY DON'T PLAY MUCH. MOSTLY THEY JUST SIT AROUND WATCHING T.V. AND DRINKING PEPSI. I WAS SURPRISED THAT DAY IN THE KITCHEN THAT YOU HANDED US YOUR WAFFLE CAUSE I KNOW HOW STINGY YOU ARE WITH YOUR FOOD. I WAS REALLY SURPRISED WHEN THAT GUY IN THE UNIFORM AND THE FLAX JACKET PUT THOSE METAL THINGS ON MY WRISTS SO MY ARMS COULDN'T MOVE AND THEY HAD TO TIGHTEN THEM UP TO THE LAST NOTCH. BUT I WAS REALLY, REALLY SURPRISED WHEN THEY WERE TAKING US AWAY AND I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU SAY, "I DON'T KNOW WHOSE KIDS THEY ARE."

A NICE MAN CALLED MR. DEA CAME TO VISIT YESTERDAY AND TOLD US WE HAD A "SCHEDULE 1 NARCOTIC" IN OUR WAFFLE AND WE STILL DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, AND HE TOLD US IT WAS A DRUG. WE SAID WE EAT HEMP ALL THE TIME, HEMP PRETZELS, HEMP CEREAL AND EVEN HEMP MILK AND WE DON'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT EXCEPT THAT WE GET ENERGY AND FEEL STRONGER. HE ASKED WHY WE LIKE HEMP AND I SAID BECAUSE YOU TOLD US ITS GOOD FOR OUR BODIES AND YOU HAVE GALLONS OF HEMP OIL IN THE FREEZER. HE WAS EXCITED ABOUT THAT AND WROTE THAT DOWN IN HIS BOOK AND ASKED US A LOT MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU AND MOMMY.

HE ASKED IF YOU TOLD US THERE WAS THC IN HEMP AND I TOLD HIM WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THERE IS LESS THC IN HEMP THAN THE GOVERNMENT ALLOWS ALCOHOL IN FRUIT JUICE OR ARSENIC IN WATER OR PESTICIDES IN OUR FOOD. HE DIDN'T WRITE THAT DOWN.

HE ASKED IF WE KNEW WHAT A DRUG WAS . ZOE SAID RITALIN BECAUSE ABOUT HALF THE KIDS IN HERE TAKE RITALIN, THE SAME KIDS WHO EAT A LOT OF SUGAR AND COCA COLA. AFTER THEY TAKE IT THEY ACT LIKE ROBOTS. (I REMEMBER YOU TELLING ME THAT MOST OF THESE KIDS WHO TAKE PILLS REALLY JUST NEED A LOVE PILL SO I HAVE BEEN EXTRA NICE TO THEM.)

MR. DEA SAID I WAS CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT A DRUG IS AND I SAID I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE CONFUSED. I TOLD MR. DEA I THINK OF DRUGS AS BEER OR CIGARETTES OR THOSE PRETTY GREEN FLOWERS YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS SMOKE IN A PIPE WHEN YOU LAUGH AND GO TO THE FRIDGE A LOT. HE ASKED WHERE YOU KEEP YOUR PRETTY GREEN FLOWERS AND I TOLD HIM AND HE WROTE THAT DOWN AND SEEMED REAL GRATEFUL. I SAID I THOUGHT A DRUG WAS SOMETHING YOU GET ADDICTED TO LIKE WHEN THESE KIDS DON'T GET THEIR SODA OR CANDY BARS OR TELEVISION THEY GO CRAZY. BESIDES DADDY SAYS IF YOU WANT TO SEE A ROOM FULL OF DRUG ADDICTS GET VIOLENT, JUST CUT OFF THE COFFEE AT STARBUCKS. HE JUST PUT HIS CIGARETTE OUT IN HIS CAPPUCCINO AND LAUGHED.


I ASKED IF HE KNEW THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON AND THOMAS JEFFERSON GREW HEMP AND HE SAID IF HE HAD A TIME MACHINE HE WOULD GO BACK AND ARREST THEM TOO. I SAID THAT WOULD BE FUNNY TO SEE A PRESIDENT IN JAIL AND HE SAID "ARE YOU AN ANARCHIST" AND I SAID "I'M NOT SURE" AND HE SAID "IF YOU'RE NOT SURE, THEN YOU ARE" AND I SAID "WELL THAT SETTLES IT THEN." I SAID I THOUGHT HE SHOULD LET US GO AND WHAT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT WHEN THEY PASSED THE LAW AGAINST MARIJUANA CONGRESS MADE SURE THE LAW DID NOT INCLUDE HEMP. I TOLD HIM WE USE HEMP PAPER AT SCHOOL INSTEAD OF THE KIND THEY CUT DOWN TREES FOR AND THAT YOU USE HEMP OIL IN YOUR BUS INSTEAD OF THE NASTY OIL THAT LEAKS INTO THE OCEAN ALL THE TIME AND MAKES IT SO WE CAN'T GO SWIMMING. AND THAT ALL THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR THAT PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF ARE ALSO MADE OF HEMP.

I ASKED "WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN TO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T HURTING ANYBODY ELSE? I THOUGHT LIVING IN A FREE COUNTRY MEANS YOU ARE FREE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU DON'T HURT OTHER PEOPLE." HE SAID HE WAS JUST DOING HIS JOB AND BESIDES HEMP SENDS THE WRONG MESSAGE TO KIDS. I SAID I THOUGHT PUTTING US IN JAIL FOR EATING HEALTHY WAFFLES WAS SENDING THE WRONG MESSAGE TO KIDS. THEN MR. DEA SAID WE ARE FREE TO DO WHATEVER WE WANT AS LONG AS HE SAYS IT'S OKAY AND I SAID YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME AND HE SAID AM TOO AND I SAID ARE NOT AND HE SAID AM TOO, I'M LEAVING YOU'RE STAYING HA HA. AND THEN HE LEFT.

ANYWAY, ME AND ZOE MISS YOU AND MOMMY AND WISH WE HAD SOME HEMP WAFFLES HERE BECAUSE THE FOOD ISN'T VERY GOOD. WE WANT YOU TO COME VISIT US SO WE CAN TALK ON THE PHONE THROUGH THE GLASS. I FIGURED YOU HAVEN'T COME YET BECAUSE YOU'RE EMBARRASSED ABOUT THE WAFFLE INCIDENT. DON'T WORRY DADDY, ACCIDENTS HAPPEN.

LOVE,

DENI HARRELSON , PRISONER 92836 3/4
ZOE HARRELSON, PRISONER 26529 1/2
SUPERMAX - FLORENCE, CO

ACROSS THE STREET FROM REALITY

PS: GRANDPA SAYS HI