The London Times

Violent Protesters Riot in New England
By the slave

Boston, Mass. (AustinIndymedia) – Last night, hordes of violent and unruly protesters snuck by British guards and managed to destroy untold amounts of East India Company tea. Protesters, hidden beneath intimidating Mohawk Indian disguises and under cover of night, were able to make their way onboard the ships to destroy stockpiles of tea.

These unruly protesters threw crate after crate of East India Company tea into the Boston Harbor. Scenes like this have marred much of the Commonwealth in New England since the passage of the Tea Act of 1773.

Lord North, a major proponent of the Tea Act, reacted to the property destruction of protesters today, saying, “This Tea Act is good for the New England colonists. It will lower the price of tea and eliminate the middle-man. Lower prices will spread prosperity. These protesters have no understanding of economics.”

“We would like to dialogue with protesters but we cannot allow these protesters to break down all sense of law and order. These hooligans committing property damage and attacking Redcoats need to be dealt with. Protesters in the Colonies should more constructive things like write their representatives,” he said.

Protesters may have little understanding of economics, but they have a lot of support from discontented radicals. Many of them argue that the Tea Act may lower prices but comes at a price. “This tax cut is putting small tea retailers and merchants out of business and gives the East India Company a virtual monopoly on global tea supplies,” said one protester today.

But officials inside the Commonwealth argue the tax-cut is an example of how the market can answer global needs. “This tax relief will allow East India Company to be more competitive in a global market,” said one trade analyst. “More trade will mean more jobs for Commonwealth citizens in the long run.”

Protest Tactics Startle Unprepared Law Officials

The “Boston Tea Party”, as protesters have started called it, has left many constabulary and law enforcement scrambling to catch-up. Redcoats guarding the harbors thought they were prepared, but when groups of clandestine protesters broke past their lines, it was apparent that protesters were more organized than originally thought.

“We were literally caught with our pants down,” said one official. “We knew that there would be radicals out for trouble in the crowds. But we weren’t prepared for this kind of violent reaction. They literally overwhelmed us then started destroying private property.”

No one is sure yet exactly how much damage has been done, but most calculate the figure is very high. “We’re still busy trying to figure out what got destroyed and what didn’t,” said a representative for the East India Company. “What’s more frightening is that these protests are going to spread from one harbor to another.”

And that is the kind of talk that keeps law enforcement up at night. “What you have is a bunch of malcontents disguising themselves under Indian masks and using the cover of dark to destroy as much as they can,” said one guard who was present at the riot.

For his part, Governor General Thomas Hutchinson promised he would bring law and order back to the Boston community. “We understand that many protesters may have grievances with the Commonwealth, but these kinds of anarchic mob-rule actions are not doing their cause any good. Citizens have a right to feel safe and secure in their cities.”

But groups like the Sons of Liberty have no intentions of stopping these rolling protests anytime soon. They vow to confront law enforcement officials and resist what they see as growing monopolistic power and democratic unaccountability.

One protest representative, a plain and sallow-looking man, Samuel Adams, claimed protesters would keep battling law enforcement in the streets. He criticized leaders as “having gained the Confidence of their Country, are sacrilegiously employing their Talents to the Ruin of its Affairs, for their own private Emolument."

Officials claim they will stand up to this traveling troupe of troublemakers however. There are already plans in the Commonwealth Parliament to deploy four new regiments to protect harbors from more property destruction and rioting in the future. The Parliament has also said they will close down harbors entirely to protect them in the future if violence escalates.

At least one Redcoat offered his own opinion: “They may talk about lofty ideas, but we aren’t going to let them plunge our cities or nation into chaos. These people pretend to have ideas but are really intent on creating mindless violence and property destruction. I have only one question for these protesters. Why don’t you take off your masks?”

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