Halloween Genes

London, Oct 24, (Rotters Newswire) - According to this story, the beleaguered biotech company Monsinto plan to patent a pumpkin which glows in the dark. A leaked report from Monsinto's HQ apparently reveals that the company aims to corner the lucrative Halloween market by adding jellyfish genes to pumpkins to make them emit a yellowish light. The report also outlines plans to introduce a 'terminator' gene to ensure that the pumpkins stop glowing once Halloween is over.

Monsinto refused to confirm the leaked report. However a spokesman told us that luminous pumpkins have been in the pipeline for some time. When asked what possible benefits such pumpkins could provide for mankind, he replied that they would save energy because they don't require candles.

Monsinto's PR department dismissed claims that large fields of GM pumpkins glowing eerily at night would confirm the publics' worst fears about Monsinto's 'Frankenstein food' image, and could further weaken the company's poor share performance.

Trick or treat indeed!

Rotters Newswire 2001. Anti(-C)copyright (Rb:)

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Seriously though boys and girls. Do try and avoid eating yellow crookneck squash from the USA (unless it's organic) because those scary biotech people have laced some varities with foreign genes; and although they may not glow in the dark (just yet), they could well be bad for you.
(See: "EDF Condemns USDA Approval of Genetically Engineered Squash")
 http://www.edf.org/pubs/NewsReleases/1994/Dec/d_asgrow.html
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"Swapping genes between organisms can produce unknown toxic
effects and allergies that are most likely to affect children"
- Dr Vyvyan Howard: expert in infant toxico-pathology at Liverpool
University, UK. (Ref: The Guardian: 19/3/98)

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"If you look at the simple principle of genetic modification it spells ecological disaster. There are no ways of quantifying the risks...The solution is simply to ban the use of genetic modification in food."
-Dr Harash Narang, microbiologist and senior research associate at the University of Leeds, who originally caused a scientific and political storm by claiming a link between mad cow disease and CJD in humans.


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