bigotry test

douglas murray | 25.10.2001 11:24

How to tell if you are a bigot.
Read the three jokes below and score yourself accordingly.

Joke 1
What were the last words of the hot dog salesman outside the World Trade Centre?
"Who ordered the jumbo?"

If you laugh at this score yourself 1 point

Joke 2

NEW YORK ... Year 2032.

A man is walking down the streets of Manhattan with
his kid.

All of a sudden they stop in front of a park, and the
man comments to his son...

"Just think, not too long ago the Twin Towers used to
be here...."

The son asks him with an intrigued look in his face...

"Dad, what were the Twin Towers?".

"They were two very tall buildings with lots of
offices, but 31 years ago a bunch of terrorists from
the Middle East crashed a plane into each one and they
collapsed."

The son thinks for a minute then says....

"Dad, what was the Middle East?"

If you laugh at this score yourself 1 point

Joke 3

Rastas and Marylou decide to have a child and after months of trying Rastas goes to get himself checked by the doctor. A few hours later Rastas comes home in an expensive white suit. Marylou looks at him in amazement and says "Rastas What you done get dat whaite suit?" to which Rastas replies: "De doctor told me I was impotent and if I is impotent I is going to dress impotent.

If you laugh at this score yourself 1 point

How did you score?
0 points: Your compassion kicks in before your sense of humour takes over.
1 - 2 points: You may well be a bigot applying different logic to similar impetus based on racial or ethnic groupings.
3 points: You may have either a broad based or sick sense of humour. As a further test have you ever been ostracised or had a kicking for insulting someone without considering their feelings first? If so you are probably sick.

douglas murray

Comments

Hide the following 7 comments

Another one

25.10.2001 11:58

I liked one of the jokes Jello Biafra made at the Anarchist Bookfair - 'never has there been a better time to have so much fun with baking soda and an envelope'!
I think it's a bit sad that you feel the need to censor people's sense of humour, particularly at such a miserable time. I liked the third joke the best - it's not racist, it's playing on words. If it involved a Glaswegian and not a Jamaican, would it still be prejudiced in your mind?

Uno
mail e-mail: uno@union.org.za

yes massa boss

25.10.2001 13:00

Dat joke make me laugh and laugh. Us ignorant black folk are so lucky to have de smart white massa bosses to tell us what am funny. Otherwise, lordy lordy, we might think that they were racist fuckpigs and get angry at being characterised as idiots incapable of comprehending english... oops sorry massa, jus don know where I got all dem long words.

a nonny mouse

Glaswegian version

25.10.2001 14:32

Angus and Roseanna McDonald decide to have a child and after months of trying Angus goes to get himself checked by the doctor. A few hours later Angus comes home in an expensive kilt complete with a sporren. Roseanna looks at him in amazement and says "Auch. Come hither, Angus, yer Bampot. What ye doon wid that neat gear? Ahl hityi oar hied 'caw taughtie." to which Angus replies: "The wee doccy told me ah was impotent and ma impotent ah am goin' to dress impotent.'

Does that sound racist? Would it still sound racist if it was told by the Great Yin himself?

Get over yourselves and extract your heads out of your arses, yer glaikits.

Uno
mail e-mail: uno@union.org.za

Asshole Test

25.10.2001 18:04

Question: (true or fase)

Do you feel that compassion is a self censoring emotion that should remove humour from life and if so that others are evil if they disagree?

If you answered true: you are an asshole.

Tom

exactly but...

26.10.2001 09:05

Exactly the sort of reasoned debate I was trying to provoke. When you hear someone making jokes that can be construed as racist how are you meannt to know if they are racist or not? Plenty of scottish people would take offence at an english person telling the Glasgae version. If you call an indian a paki its like calling a scotsman an englishman and visa-versa it makes you look ignorant like the other great scottish joke: Whats a Hindu? Lays eggs. wheras a hindu may construe it shows our cultural ignorance Its also possible that when people that are racists hear jokes that can be construed as racist that they think we are encouraging them. The point of the Rasta and Marylou joke i threw in was to show it IS just a play on words but if your going to attach any sort of cultural identity to it it should be your own. I think youll find The Big Yin tends to do that too

douglas murray

and tom...

26.10.2001 09:16

thats why i included the broad bases sense of humour clause. you can laugh at anything you want but should always bear in mind that others may be offended by it

douglas murray

and Tom

26.10.2001 09:30

Thats why I included the broad based sense of humour clause. You can laugh at whatever you want but should always try to be aware if someone may be offended.

douglas murray