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Oi Tony! Nobody does it better!

Amy Body | 09.05.2001 21:49

As clone politicians gear up to (yawn) do battle, one inner city community has said: 'To hell with the lot of them!' and declared itself Britain's first autonomous zone. The Vote was for for freedom and Nobody claimed the first victory - of many!

Tony Bloody Blair may be ready to bring his heartland flock of property owning country folk back to the polls, but one corner of Britain doesn't give a monkeys what the election outcome is. The people of Easton in Bristol have already declared their community an autonomous zone and are planning to reek havoc on the entire electoral procedure come June 7.

On May 3rd Easton was asked to go to the polls and decide who should run the inner city borough: Nobody or the Council. "Bogus as it is, May 3rd was the day the Council's mandate ran out," said spokeswoman Nora Nobody. "We posted ballots through 5,000 doors and have received enormous local support for ejecting all authority from the community."

Stickers and posters declaring; 'Nobody Cares', 'Nobody will make a Difference' and 'Nobody is the Black Candidate' appeared on every lampost and dissused shopfront during the last month. On May 3rd, a righteous Nobody motorcade was mobbed in the streets before the ballot returned 145 votes to Nobody and five to the council. (One staunch anarchist even spoiled their paper in the vote to ban all authority.)

As the result was announced the autonomous zone of Free Easton was declared, a stirring rally was held in the Community Building and the first Easton Popular People's Assembly was initiated - it's first task was to give the invasive police presence waiting outside its marching orders. "Your services are no longer required," said one elderly resident as she handed a confused looking officer a large sack. Easton Councillors John Kiely and Muriel Cole were also fired in their absence.

The following morning, anyone entering the zone was greeted by the legend 'You are now entering Free Easton' stencilled across the road at every entry point to the community.

"Every spoiled ballot paper is counted and the numbers are announced on polling day" said Nora Nobody. "Today was a victory, but one June 7th we're encouraging people to go to the polls and scrawl Nobody or None of the Above, or something more offensive, across their ballot papers again”.

As both the ward’s councillors were elected on less than 1500 votes (and everyone gets two votes), Nobody campaigners have calculated that if 750 ballots are spoiled then the autonomous zone is set in stone. “When the votes are counted central and local government authority in Easton will cease permanently,” said Ned (another Nobody). “And the community assembly can get on with the task of adressing the needs of the people. No more sham democracy. We’re taking the power back, and we encourage other communities to do the same.”

An openly rattled John Kiely (Lib Dem Councillor for Easton) elected on less than a tenth of possible votes, dismissed the May 3 ballot as "a silly prank". Though he made sure his home had police protection in case the community decided to exercise some summary justice on its would-be leaders.

Meanwhile in Eugene Oregon, America, a group of dissident anarchists (eh? - ed) are endorsing the re-election of their city’s ultra right wing Mayor, Jim Torrey. “Although we don’t buy into the scam of democracy, we encourage others who believe, to vote for the greater of two evils. If not for pure comedy, at least to make it clear to all what type of Fascist system we live under.” They believe Torrey’s policies of brutal policing and corporate pandering have been instrumental in creating the city’s “inevitable and beautiful anarchist backlash”, and his re-election can only swell their ranks.

Amy Body
- Homepage: http://uk.geocities.com/votenobody

Comments

Hide the following 19 comments

The way forward

10.05.2001 01:58

All power Easton!

This could well be the way forward - a national (mobiloised) NoVote movement in which creative spoiling of ballots would allow the disenfranchised, the pissed off, and the disillusioned (the majority of the British population) to exercise guerilla voting tactics. The 'mandate' enjoyed by incumbents for years has hovered around 40% of a total 50 - 60% of the the population who actually bothered to go to the polling stations - each party rules with the approval of less than 30% of the inhabitants of our country. If creative ballot spoiling actually takes off what then for the government? Their legitimacy would be utterly destroyed, their appeal as a fairly elected legislature would vanish in a puff of spin, and the beauty of it is that they cannot send in the pigs to break up legal visits to the polling stations.

However, doing it by simply spoiling ballots has the disadvantage of being open to being dismissed as a 'prank', as we have just seen by the reaction of the local MP. How about fielding NoVote candidates standing for the Nobody party. Upon election the candidate immediately stands down, formally handing authority to the people. Empty seats in parliament, now there's an idea?!?

Bendeus


More Silly people

10.05.2001 06:22

I don't know what this country is coming to, first the spurious protests on May Day and now these silly pranks in Bristol.

Get a grip people, there is a serious election coming. It counts, every vote for Tony and William is a vote for pandering politicians. It is our obligation as subjects to vote. No more pranks.

barney


To vote or not to vote.

10.05.2001 08:31

Yeah, on reflection I think I agree with the comment above about having to vote. I'm as pissed off and angry as anyone else, but I'm also realistic and patient, real change doesn't come about overnight just because its "right".

So, you think the parties are all the same? So do I, to an extent. All I know is New Labour = Pale Tories, Conservatives = extreme corporate facists. Lib Dem's are the 'nice' vote and parties like the Greens and Socialist Alliance are seen as the 'throwaway vote'.

Why are they the 'throwaway' vote? 'Cos of the election system that's intended to return a Tory government whenever possible (Well-off middle-class people vote more, y'see). So, here's a radical idea. Vote Lib Dem - they won't win this election, but they might wim enough seats to force through Proportional Representation. THEN at the next election, you can vote for the Greens, Socialists, whatever, safe in the knowledge that you vote actually counts this time.

As for the 'why bother' brigade:
BECAUSE THE RICH VOTE, YOU FUCKING DOLTS!

Do you think that the Tories are going to be hanging around community centres saying 'Oh, I feel so disenfranchised'?
Are they, bollox. They'll be out there, so should we.

Candidate X


Vote: None Of The Above

10.05.2001 09:41

Spoiling ballots is only of limited use as the number spoiled is rarely reported.
Better to have a (mor) 'Dummy' candidate and for those that are disaffected to vote for them. This person would not have to take up their seat, and the votes would register as a protest.

Mark


Nothing

10.05.2001 12:07

Blair called votes, "precious" I say, they are "worthless!" Sit down and don't be counted!

Nobody


Good show!

10.05.2001 12:41

I say chaps, that's the spirit!

The more you pleb's stay away at the election, the better chance people like me have of voting in a party that will legislate and enforce even more repressive laws. Super!

I've been very encouraged by the amount of people here that say they aren't voting, and I just want to congratulate them. Leave it to rich people like me who know what they're doing.

Nice to see all the propaganda in uncle Rupert's newspaper's is doing the trick.

Cheerio, pip, pip!

Tory Boy.


Great idea but

10.05.2001 18:03

Whilst this is a great campaign, it represents what could be termed as putting your hands on your ears. Abstaining = more votes for THEM (i.e. the tories), whilst moulding into the usual bunch of apathetic 'stay-at-homes.' I.e. the people/media won't listen.

If the movement gets impressivly large, however, then forget anything that i said. There is certainly a need for a party which actually represents anybody on the left. It's a good cause.

elec40
mail e-mail: davedeans2001@yahoo.co.uk


Are you joking?

10.05.2001 21:07

To the above comment: Are you serious, I'm not and I say vote for nobody. Don't you just wish there was someone that would come to your aid and 'save' your community from the beggers, travellers, etc? Well that's person is nobody, aka your lazy ass. If you haven't the courage of your convictions - and who could blame you when someone else has bought the super-duper, ultra marketable franchise to your humour - then vote for someone you don't believe in. That's called tactical voting and is one of the things that keeps the scumbags in power, knowing that you didn't have the *%&£ to vote for who or what most closely reflected your views. Stop all the whining and reclaim your community and defacew your ballot showing your disgust with the sham of an election (now showing at a Mc School near you), or do you want to sit around and let some others who violently claim authority, shunning local opinions, do it for you?

Golden Balls
mail e-mail: g_lex5@hotmail.com


Cuttin' off yer nose ta spite... erm... who?

10.05.2001 21:10

Surely at this election we should be taking the oportunity to try and weaken the right-wing? Okay, the ballot-paper spoiling thing is a nice idea, and kind of amusing, but surely if all us left-wing types decide to not vote then that'll just mean that a higher percentage of the electorate will have voted for the right wing crap? You could argue as to how much difference this would make, as whatever happens the ol' media giants will still end up running the country, but the media does have their weaknesses. A good one of these is that they are ultimately going for a quick profit, and these will be increased by having good stories. A good way to try and weaken them, then, is to try and (somehow) give them a good story, but one that'll ultimately hurt their cause. If they don't go with it then there is the chance that a rival will and that the damage will still be done but they'll have missed out on a chance to increase sales, so it's unlikely that they'll do this. As far as parlament is concerned, they make the storys so, surely, the more 'lefties' there are in parliament, the bigger the chance of a good, anti-right or pro-left story getting out is? Also, if the goverment has a more slender majority, then there'll actually be a point in debating, and, you never know, if there's more of this then there's more chance of back-bench revolts etc., which are always good stories and almost always result in the media going against the goverment (i.e. the right wing view on the issue) and in favour of the opposing view (which will probably the 'best' one).
Okay, I'm being a little optimistic here, but it's got to help, and surely having this chance is better than destroying it by ensuring that no-one who isn't either a dumb, Labour-voting tabloid reader or a traditionalistic, bigoted Tory will vote? Surley that's just doing them a favour?
How exactly does doing nothing help our cause?

-
mail e-mail: alanomaly@hotmail.com


Long live..

14.05.2001 13:53

Now this is more like it,socialism in action,to hell with
sham democracy long live the Easton Free Community this is the best fucking news I've heard all month
SOLIDARITY.

Rua
mail e-mail: -
- Homepage: -


go nobody, go!

14.05.2001 14:43

no, seriously, we're all nobodies under the tyranny of capitalism. when you vote, no matter who you vote for, you are giving your implicit consent to whoever wins. not only that but you are giving your implicit consent to the status quo... you're saying 'o.k., i accept that whoever wins has legitimacy and i'll support whatever they do'
all power to easton, all power to local communities. theres nothing we need that we cant provide for ourselves and no problem that we cant solve for ourselves.
all energy into the community.
maximum respect to all.
voting changes nothing: vote nobody.

paulX
- Homepage: http://gaia.4dw.com


Don't vote, create!

16.05.2001 11:33

This is really encouraging. Just getting all apathetic and not voting won't change anything, but this is an example of what we should be doing - building REAL democracy on a local level. Good luck with your project and hopefully it's something that will spread all around the country.

Lemming
mail e-mail: lemming@grandtheftcyber.com


To Spoil or Not to Vote

16.05.2001 16:51

This is quite a dilema really. Should we not vote at all. Spoil our ballots. Or pick a party and vote.

Let's look at those options.


Not voting at all

None of us really want to vote for people who seek power really do we? I mean, can you trust anyone who wants to be in charge? Why do they want to be in charge anyway? So they can screw us over!

But not voting is merely shying away from our one opportunity to do something "democratic" that actually includes everyone (over 18, not in jail or a nun etc etc aside). The one chance we get to come together as a community and say something even if the choices are limited. Not voting is akin to saying that you really don't care what happens.

Spoil our ballots

So moving on from the not voting option, we come to the next one. The "third way" of democracy I suppose. Spoil the ballots, because they are all wankers. This is your one way of saying, hang on a minute the system is rubbish. The system could be better. We want to vote, but not for that lot above. They are all 12 foot lizard-men. They ate our children last time and they'll do it again.

But then again what exactly does this say? This spoiling of ballot papers? Perhaps it is just another way of wasting your vote, like putting a cross next to the Rename Thursday to Thing party. Does anyone read the spoiled ballot papers? Are they considered just the papers of people who couldn't figure out how to use the ballot paper? Can a spoiled ballot paper really be viewed as a vote against the system?

Voting

So how about actually voting? There are a few alternatives to voting for the dark lords. Some of them aren't akin to a spoilt ballot paper and really have some policies. So choose a party.
Or vote strategically to keep your enemy out.
Remember, democracy is all about doing things little by little vote for a socialist party because that will help steer the ship back on course.
Big BOLLOCKS to that. Look at the Labour party. They have been going more and more right wing the more people vote for them. Voting doesn't seem to change anything. The big parties just aren't that scared of you not voting for them! If you look around at the way things are going it really makes you wonder if your vote is worth anything at all. It just serves to make the individual feel tiny and worthless. Your yes or no means nothing.

So what to do?

I'll tell you what might work!

The brand new fourth way of voting!

STEAL YOUR OWN VOTE!
It works like this. Go to your polling station. Give them your details and get your ballot. Then just walk off with it. Take it home with you. Throw it in the bin. Pin it on your wall. Whatever.
The thing is, they have to keep track of the ballot papers. If some go missing then the number of votes cast will be less than the number of people who voted. If enough people do that then the election will look like it has been rigged! What better way of showing disatisfaction with the system than by turning its rules on itself. This cannot be ignored in the same way as any number of ballot slips. They will find it really hard to count the number of people who steal their own vote in the polling stations. It will be really hard to prove that those papers haven't been stolen to rig the vote.


Is that any good? Who knows? Any other ideas?

%-)
mail e-mail: blindmind@runbox.com


networks not hiearchies.

17.05.2001 13:59

no more silly pranks? the whole system is a silly prank. its time the joke was made clear. vote for what? democracy is a sham in the first place. if you really give a shit do not vote. tony or william it make no diffence anyway. thats not to say that i am apathetic and disillusioned. but the real problem is systems of hiearchies. where the vote just gets lost in the system. networks and rhizmoes (systems of non hierachical elements. see deleuze and guattari) are what is really needed. in a hierachy no one is accountable. in a network every node of information or individual component is by defintion acccountable. the right wing is gonna vote anyway. we all know that. but self determination can only be achieved when responsiblity is taken on by the subject. under democracy responsibility is removed and handed over to the system or machine. (society is a machine).easton is an example of a net work within which the the bodies of people become responsible for their community. this is real self determination. i live in st pauls and inner city borough of bristol just over the motorway from easton. i feel empowered to have read this. i know the election was taking place and some of my fiends manifested their concerns. all life is politics. where you shop, what you eat, how and where you holiday. ad infinitum. take responsibility for what and how you do things. remove hiearachies, create networks. become accountable build new machines.

somebody


What a load of crap from the PR brigade

22.05.2001 16:37

What a load of bullshit, obviously from some demented tosser who believes that the few( the wealthy) have a right to rule us. Their arguement that, "oh vote, the rich do", I mean can they not do better? The rich destroy the planet, inbreed, slaughter people by the millions, force us all to live like shit, do they suggest we should try and emulate our "betters" in this feild too? PR will obviously change nothing whatsoever, the State is the enemy of the people, it always has been mate. Unless we stop this crap of pandering to these egotist parasites (politicians) and actually get on and sweep them out of existence with the rest of the capitalist system, we cannot live as dignified human beings. Fight back, instead of thinking you are radical by choosing different masters. To vote for your masters is a disgusting practice and absolutely degrading to the human spirit.All poiticians, Green, Socialist, whatever are of the belief that they are superior to us the "public", they are pure and simple careerist scum bags, one and all. GET OFF YOUR KNEES, mate, for pity sake, its embarrassing. VOTIN CHANGES NOTHIN TRY AN AK47.

Ned Ludd
mail e-mail: Ned Ludd@fsmail.net


Never get to heaven with an AK47

24.05.2001 02:52

Don't get too many of them in Tunbridge Wells. Have you got one then, Rambo?

Bendeus


dear ned

29.05.2001 23:09

dear ned, your enthusiasm is to be cherished. but me thinks your ideas are a bit rash. come on: is an ak47 really any creative solution? me thinks not. o.k. you think the system is at fault. but first ask yourself what am i doing do change it, what can i do, what am i willing to do? capitalism is an issue for concern in its present manisfestation, but what alternative do you offer and what have you doing to realise it. sweeping criticism without an offer of values to be created is as nilistic as the present capitalist system. fuck this fuck that is bulllshit. i do not profess to possess the answers. i merely wish to share the questions. offer some constuctive criticism, not nilhistic and infertile ideas.

somebody


Missing the Point?

30.05.2001 11:54

It seems to me that most of the responses here miss the point.
First of all, in a democracy you have the right not to vote. The fact that British people are still "subjects" may say a lot about British democracy. Voting has never been a right in parliamentary democracy-in Britain it was a liberty granted when nothing else would satisfy mass demands for change. That change only went so far, and now many of the things won are being rolled back.
The people in Easton were making a comment about the fact that in many communities the electorate is completely uninterested in the political process. There is a reason, and its not just "apathy". Why vote if it really doesn't change anything? People have stopped supporting the lesser of two evils in these areas, and that is a good thing on one level, but it ultimately a negative and atomised form of protest.
What the "Vote Nobody" campaign is doing, it seems to me, is giving some kind of expression to people's mistrust and alienation from the system. Indeed, not only is it pointing out the flaws in what is actually existing, it is trying to offer something new and better at the same time. So it is not a silly prank, in my view. At least 145 people in easton now know for a fact that they are not alone in their contempt for "all of the above". Thousands more are aware that there is an alternative to doing nothing and letting the strutting egoists who run political life do as they will.
Hopefully more people will try to do this in their own community, and it will go from "silly prank" to "public menace". Then we'll see how "our" (un)representatives deal with it!

Dermo
mail e-mail: syndicalist@ireland.com


Apologies

30.05.2001 14:15

In case anybody noticed, I posted my comment about three times too many. Apologies. I just can't help hitting yes every time my browser asks me to "repost the data form?"

Dermo