Glad to report that London is such a happy place to live in nowadays that Len Killipidge is determined to remove the final obstacle to our Inclusive New City, the pigeons of Traff Sq...
Having already tried to withdraw the license from the guy who sells corn for 30p a bag, he was forced to back down after a substantial public outcry. Now, fresh from his rendevouz in New York with his sinister Controller, Mr "Zero", he decided to renew the onslaught.
Claiming a wish to "brighten up" the admittedly cut off centre of London, Ken Rentokil is using this as a pretext for COMMERCIALISING the area. At the moment it is remarkably underused, with just one "chain" store, a bookshop, nearby. (The infamous Mayday McDonalds is just round the corner). There is ample facility for building a few pleasant cafes on the square, and room for the pigeons too.
"Save the Cute & Cuddly- Kill the Ugly and Unprofitable" seems to be the motto for our present day. Dont forget the way Blair threw the ailing resident cat out of No. 10, and how badgers are about to be gassed in thousands by the Ministry of Agriculture. Pigeons are NOT true vermin: they are a survival species, which they have in common with , say, grey squirrels (another pet- hate target) or sparrows. Often the descendants of cultivated stock, either farmed or used for carrying messages, pigeons sit and wait as they have done for centuries around most town squares. Ive never been overkeen on them but now I intend to bring breadcrumbs every time I go past Trafalgar Sq.
They are about the only tourist attraction in London which cannot be reined in for corporate purposes, unlike the horrendous Rock Museum, Millennium Wheel, Dome of Doom or Buck Palace.

London Today is holding a phone-in poll. If you want to vote against the proposed ban on the pigeons, phone 09 009 11 66 02. Calls cost 10p.