Taxi companies have offered drivers willing to work throughout the Games free speed to help the drivers keep going 24 hours per day for the duration of the 17-day event.

“We sympathise with our drivers,” said a spokesman for Taxis Combined. “It’s a big ask to have one million extra visitors in your city for three weeks, including American tourists who ask you why there are no kangaroos while driving across the Harbor Bridge.

“We thought we’d offer our drivers a little help to keep going, day to day. We’re offering free shower facilities, tea and coffee and lines of cocaine, whenever they need it.”

Sydney taxi drivers had been reluctant to work over the Games period because of expected exhausting hours, and the fact that ABN numbers mean most drivers can’t just pocket their takings. The NSW Government recently introduced an incentive of a 10 per cent Olympic surcharge during the Games to make the period more lucrative for drivers, but they were still luke warm.

In the wake of today’s “speed” announcement, King’s Cross was eerily vacant as the entire suburb enrolled at Taxi School.

One taxi driver who has already begun to take advantage of the companies’ offer told The Flaming Bladder: “ohmateitsunreal-IcantbelievehowfantasticIfeelafterdrivingsolidlyforninedaysalready-IllmakeitthroughtoNovembernoproblemifnecessary-gottagobecauseIwanttogetbackoutthereinthetraffic,mate.”

 http://www.thebladder.com.au