CIMC Communiqué: Splittist Elements Continue to Disrupt and Misinform

Chaos rages across the UK's independent media sector today as claim and counter-claim fly between opposing camps of the now shattered Indymedia UK organisation.

All of the rapidly coalescing new splinter groups have said they remain dedicated to continuing the argument and giving the Old Bill the biggest laugh since Mark 'Cyclops' Stone shagged UR SISTAZ.

Attempts by the coincidentally recently formed CIMC to breath new life into the moribund and outdated Cambridge Indymedia website and engage in real world training and provisioning of independent journalists, have been cruelly rebuffed by Reactionary elements from within the movement.

A CIMC spokesperson commented "Our attempts to reinvigorate the local Indymedia portal were discounted as an attempt to sabotage someone else's ego trip - we said we wanted to fully integrate the site with modern social media technology but were accused of being agents of Zuckerberg and implicitly, the CIA".

The spokesperson, now sobbing, continued by outlining what they had hoped to achieve, "After half a lifetime of journalism, I wanted to share my skills and experience with the local activists to show them how, like me, they could get the attention of national and international publications and media organisations."

At this point the tired and emotional hack was unable to continue, but the conversation resumed later by email.

In response to a question about the future of of Cambridge Indymedia, the journalist now clearly pissed replied "They just accused me of being an undercover copper when I said disinterring grannies wasn't good pr and maybe that rational, well informed debate and journalism would pay dividends in the long run".

"I though Christ! If they ever found out I used to work for the Daily Mail, I'd be fuckin' stuffed".

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