Crude Awakening - 10 targets (that just missed our short list)

There are so many possible targets that inevitably some places didn’t make the cut. But to give you a flavour of London’s oil web, the Crude Awakening presents: the 10 targets that just missed our short list.

1. The British Museum
No self-respecting oil company will turn down a sponsorship deal – and no self-respecting cultural institution should take their oily shilling. The British Museum is sponsored by BP (enough said!) and is a bastion of pre-industrial, colonial trinket collecting. We won’t be going there though, because we’ve seen Curse of the Mummy and can do without a clumsy activist unleashing some pharonic curse on the movement.

2. 3i Private Equity
Drilling for oil is a murky business, but some people are willing to put their scruples aside to make a quick buck. Private equity company 3i pride themselves on their investment in oil exploration, including drilling in the Gulf of Mexico. These vampires are growing fat off environmental destruction, but there are better targets… this time.

3. Nexen Energy
Nexen are a Canadian oil company obsessed with tar sands. Not only do tar sands destroy the local environment – polluting the Athabasca River, lacing the air with toxins and turning farmland into wasteland – but getting oil from shale produces three to five times more CO2 than conventional drilling. But whilst we’re keen to take action on tar sands, Nexen didn’t quite make it into the running.

4. Export Credit Guarantee Department
Drilling for oil in dodgy places can get a bit risky. Thankfully, the Government’s Export Credit Guarantee Department can help. They’re like an insurance firm, using taxpayers’ money to support arms dealers, oil barons and other ner’do wells. We won’t be going there though, because, frankly, it’s closed on Saturdays.

5. HSBC headquarters
Behind their pristine windows and corporate lobbies, high-street banks make drilling, digging and wrecking possible. The equity finance that banks like HSBC pump in gives them influence over of the oil companies. And what direction do they push them in? Tar sands, Arctic oil, deep water: anything that keeps profits flowing. HSBC are really bad, but they’re not the worst…

6. Chevron London HQ
Chevron are really crap. The Government just gave them permission to start deepwater drilling in the North Sea. They’re after eighteen exploratory wells and 600 million barrels of oil. But we’re not going to Chevron because Greenpeace is kicking their oily ass and we believe in spreading the love to other culprits.

7. Park lane car dealerships
Park Lane is littered with car dealerships that specialise in selling gas guzzling toys to the obscenely wealthy. It’s also one of the most congested and polluted streets in London. Did you know that twenty-five percent of the UK’s CO2 emissions come from traffic? While we certainly want to take action to highlight these problems, we decided not to spend our Saturday there.

8. Ministry of Defence
Oil, money, power and war are tangled in an ugly mess. We chanted ‘no blood for oil’ but we were ignored, and our taxes have been funding bloody conflict ever since: first in Afghanistan and then in Iraq. The MoD has both oil and blood on its hands and deserves our attention… but that’s for another day.

9. Legal and General
The oil industry depends on investment, and much of that comes from UK pension funds. When they’re not insuring oil companies, Legal and General are pouring money we’ve been saving into oil deals. We want a future without oil – but this particular oil investor won’t be getting a visit from us on the 16th.

10. Petrol stations across London
Petrol stations are the most visible symbol of our oil addiction, and they’re always ready to sell us another hit. Petrol stations demos are a bit passe though – Greenpeace closed 40 BP stations recently, and hundreds of people rocked out at the Party at the Pumps – so we’ll be going somewhere else